susy
journeyman
Reged: 04/15/08
Posts: 84
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I was married to a doctor that beat me on the back of my head whenever I questioned him about his whereabouts and other women.I must have called the police a dozen times and they did nothing. They would stay long enough for me to pack a bag sometimes. They would always say that I needed to call when I had more evidence. He was smart and he would never hit me in the face. He did break two fingers and leave bruises on my hips thoe. When I filed I told my atorney he was abusive and she didn't ask for any details. Do most attorneys file no fault because it's cheaper and easier for them?
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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[quote]I was married to a doctor that beat me on the back of my head whenever I questioned him about his whereabouts and other women.I must have called the police a dozen times and they did nothing. They would stay long enough for me to pack a bag sometimes. They would always say that I needed to call when I had more evidence. He was smart and he would never hit me in the face. He did break two fingers and leave bruises on my hips thoe. When I filed I told my atorney he was abusive and she didn't ask for any details. Do most attorneys file no fault because it's cheaper and easier for them? [/quote]
No, they will use any weapon available. You just didn't have enough evidence to prove a case. After a dozen times calls to the cops. Get my drift?
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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susy
journeyman
Reged: 04/15/08
Posts: 84
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I do have some pictures. He threw a can of coke at me while I was breast feeding. It hit me on the cheek and left a small bruise under eye. I also have a couple of pictures I took of our daughter. She wasn't feeling well and wouln't get out of bed so he pulled her out by one leg. He left her with a bruised hip and a bruised cheek.
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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[quote]I do have some pictures. He threw a can of coke at me while I was breast feeding. It hit me on the cheek and left a small bruise under eye. I also have a couple of pictures I took of our daughter. She wasn't feeling well and wouln't get out of bed so he pulled her out by one leg. He left her with a bruised hip and a bruised cheek. [/quote]
Cops love (and are obligated) to arrest when there is enough proof. There evidently was not.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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susy
journeyman
Reged: 04/15/08
Posts: 84
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I didn't press charges because his mother said it would cause him to lose his job. I would just call the police so we could leave and he could cool off and most of the time he would leave me alone as soon as I grabbed the phone. I do have a few poloice reports.I don't think they make a report each time especially at two in the morning. Does anyone know?
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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[quote]I didn't press charges because his mother said it would cause him to lose his job. I would just call the police so we could leave and he could cool off and most of the time he would leave me alone as soon as I grabbed the phone. I do have a few poloice reports.I don't think they make a report each time especially at two in the morning. Does anyone know? [/quote]
They make a report on every call they respond to. Those reports will indicate if the officers believed there to be abuse (and they would have arrested him if they did).
It appears to be a dead issue with you because even after 12 calls to the cops, he wasnt prosecuted, which means they didn't believe your story.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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092895
enthusiast
Reged: 04/03/08
Posts: 226
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Relayer, I know several police officers and for those that I know most of them do not like getting involved in domestic issues. Also, I don't think that him being a doctor is helping her any. I'm sure they know he will be out quickly and lawyer up with no problem.
Abuse is a serious matter and unless you have been on the receiving end for a long time you can not begin to understand it. If you have please carry on and your opinion will matter. This is obviously something she needs to talk about and the police nor her attorney haven't really helped, so she is coming here for advice.
I don't think it really matters whether they believe her or not, if she won't press charges, they probably won't write a report.
I'm just guessing, but his Mom is probably as concerned about her own reputation as she is her sons. Apperances are everything with some people and I think it is even more prevelant if the abuser has a prestigious career. It's not exactly a shining moment for any Mother to admit her son is abusive to his wife.
To OP I was in abusive situation and never called the police. Now I wish I had. I was always scared of what people would think and I didn't want my son to see his Dad carried away in handcuffs, but that kind of thinking has just allowed his Dad to continue it with the next wife (who I think is just as crazy as he is). It didn't help any that I knew he would get out and it would just be worse or atleast that is what he told me. He was like your ex, he never actually hit me, but told me if he did I wouldn't be able to talk anymore.
Edited by 092895 (04/21/08 09:19 PM)
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susy
journeyman
Reged: 04/15/08
Posts: 84
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Relayer, You don't know what your talking about. I did not want him to be arrested. I just wanted him to stop chasing me around and beating me. When the police officers would ask if I'd like to file a complaint I would say no.
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googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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[quote]Relayer, You don't know what your talking about. I did not want him to be arrested. I just wanted him to stop chasing me around and beating me. When the police officers would ask if I'd like to file a complaint I would say no. [/quote]
>>>>>>>>> How would you hope to prove fault ( abuse ) without a legal record ( charges ) ?
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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lovinmykids
old hand
Reged: 01/10/08
Posts: 868
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The only way to hopefully get him to stop is to press charges. that is the only thing that might work. Get a ex parte order and if he doesn't leave you alone press charges.
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