preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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This one isn't for me.. so please bear that in mind when replying!!! (for those that hate me)
I have a girlfriend who has had an ongoing contentious custody situation with her ex. Things have escalated of late with the situation and this last thing she's just at a loss as to how to address and frankly has her a bit bugged out.
So here's the deal:
The ex was court ordered into a 90 day drug and alcohol rehab. He called my friend last night to tell say that he no longer is willing to purchase some sports equipment for the kids (previously agreed upon) b/c he's feeling pinched by the rehab co-payments.
She's like.. no big deal, I'll pay for the equipment. So he then goes on to say that he can't wait for THE FRIEND to have to start paying all the co-pays. So she asked him what he was talking about and he said that when they go back to court (they're in an ongoing court battle, next court date is sometime in July) he will be requesting that SHE be ordered into drug and alcohol rehab too.
So here are the questions:
#1 Will a judge give any credibility to his new claims after 8 months of litigation?
#2 What kind of proof would he need in order to establish that my friend "does" (according to him) have a drug/alcohol problem? She's worried that he will start making up evidence. Can he do that? What would he have to present as "proof"??
#3 Wouldn’t he have had to mention his suspicions prior to final hearing slated in July? They've been to court like 3 times in the past 6-8 months or so. He's NEVER raised HER having any kind of drug or alcohol abuse problem. It's just never been raised as a topic. Period. Why now? Will a judge buy into it at all?
Thanks!
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MTmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 2711
Loc: MT
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My ex once tried to claim I had drinking/drug problems to down play his own substance abuse issues. I got wind of it before it showed up in a court filing.
I cut off his argument at the heels.
I called my physician, and she ordered blood and urine drug testing every Monday. I also called a police officer friend who agreed to come by my house at 9:00 pm on each of his shifts and administer a breathalizer test and document the results in his officer log book.
When we got to court and my ex's attorney made his allegations.. my attorney was ready w/ an affidavit from the officer and a stack of drug test results. I had aproximately 60 days worth of "proof" that ex was simply throwing mud hoping some of it would stick.
My ex was ordered to compensate me for the costs of the drug testing I had incurred as a result of his false allegations and defamatory remarks around town.
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KiwiGirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/09/05
Posts: 6271
Loc: Plains State
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Sounds a bit childish for him to accuse her after he has already been Co'd to get into rehab.
The thing is... can your friend agree to random drug/alcohol tests and pass? If this is the case then if I were her I would agree to random tests. If she can't then she has other problems.
I doubt a judge will decide .."Hmmm, her ex-husband is accusing her of drinking and taking drugs. He has been thru rehab and never mentioned this before. He is very angry. He must be right and she is a drunken floozy who pill pops until she rattles."
She may have to have a couple of random tests just to make a paper trail though.
If she cannot pass blood chem tests she is in more trouble than she realises.
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If I can't be part of the solution I insist on being most of the problem
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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[quote]If she cannot pass blood chem tests she is in more trouble than she realises. [/quote]
Actually to both you and MTMom.. GREAT suggestion, hadn't thought of that at all!
But here's a question on that if I may?
So she gets random testing. That would work for drugs, but would it work for alcohol? I mean, like a breathalyzer is only good for so long? ? Same with a blood test?
I will admit I have ZERO idea how any of this works. I know that guy I went on those couple of dinner dates with he and his ex-girlfriend did hair follicle testing? (marijuana users).
And if she "failed" say a test for alcohol what does it prove? Does it differentiate between a case of beer a day drinker versus an "I have a glass of wine with dinner" drinker?
Again, not being confrontational.. just trying to flesh out all the possible questions she might have...
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cincsu
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4686
Loc: residence in AZ, case in CA
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if he was ordered into rehab she must know what she had to do to get him to go there, no? i would think he'd have to come up with the same things against her. and i also think the judge would wonder why he's just bringing this up now and didn't before...maybe his sobriety led him to think straight?
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wife of 1, mother of 2, stepmother of .3475902453
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PrincessJ
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/25/07
Posts: 7176
Loc: 39.10 degrees North 94.58 degr...
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He sounds like an addict, to me. Have her pee in a cup and be done with it.
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I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
--Jack Handey
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MTmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 2711
Loc: MT
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I don't know about the alcohol testing pm.
For me, I worked 8-6 each day, and ds had gymnastics most days from 7 - 7:30 .. The 9 pm breath test worked for me because my x alleged that all I did w/ once I got home was get drunk. I was able to prove that 5 out of ever 7 days (the days the officer was on duty) I hadn't had a drop of alcohol at allo after being home anywhere from 1 to 3 hours..
It was enough for our judge to see x was lying.
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agui667
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/23/06
Posts: 4495
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Why every Monday? Should this poster be tested on different days of the week?
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MTmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 2711
Loc: MT
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The story I heard was that my ex was going to claim I used drugs on weekends.. my physician determined that there was a 7 day period when I would need to be tested to disprove his claims.. so I just did every monday. I suppose every situation would be different/
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agui667
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/23/06
Posts: 4495
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It doesn’t make sense for this person to be testing herself. Anybody can “prepare” for a drug test. It would only be reliable if she didn’t know when the tests were going to be.
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