lovinmykids
old hand
Reged: 01/10/08
Posts: 868
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My son, J, turned 13 on the 21st. The CO says that his dad gets him for half his birthday. We ended up having ex get J from 6pm the 20th until 1pm the 21st. Then we picked him up and took him to our party for him. J seemed alittle upset so I asked him if there was something he needed to talk about.
Well J had been excited about his birthday at his dad's this year. The last 3 years they have bought his brothers ice cream cakes and woke them all up at midnight to eat it since thats when the birthday started. Then later that day the brothers get a party. this has never been done for J but dad promised it would be differant this year because he has shared custody now.
Well J stayed up waiting for his ice cream cake. He got nothing!! Then before bringing J home his stepmom served THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE cupcakes for his cake. no party! No ice cream cake! Thomas the tank engine cakes! She said they were marked down and she figured J wouldn't mind since he gets a party here. J didn't even get the Thomas cake!!
well when we get there to meet J's dad I could tell J was upset right away. I saw him say something to ex but didn't hear because I leave my windows up. when J told me why he was upset he said "mom don't get mad but I spoke to a adult mean. Before I got in our van I told my dad that I don't want a cake next year because I never liked stupid thomas and don't now. I told him that T (stepmom) is a witch and I hate her and will not call her mom anymore"
Well last night his dad calls. He was making sure that we were meeting for the wendsday night visit. (BTW CO says he can not call here but he has 3 times in the last week). J gets on the phone with his dad and tells his dad "Of course I'm coming because my mom doesn't lie and she said I will be there." Ex asks to speak to me. He says "A I know J is upset. I don't know what to say to him. T said she would take care of getting the cake and I didn't know she got thomas. We got in a big arguement about it." My reply is "don't tell me, tell our son." I put J back on the phone.
When J gets off the phone he says "dad said he is sorry and it won'yt happen again and I told him yes it will as long as I have a evil stepmom. I told him I'm tired of them not loving me like my brothers but I don't need their love because my mom will always love me enough." I gave him a big hug and said "Yes I will always love you enough and your dad loves you too. I guess it's harder for him to show you because you aren't always there but never think your dad does not love you."
I am soo glad my son knows how much I love him but I hate that he feels his dad don't love him.
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Spring
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 7972
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Well, that friggen bites!! Was this an over sight or just an uncaring woman?
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Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.
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PrincessJ
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/25/07
Posts: 7176
Loc: 39.10 degrees North 94.58 degr...
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Poor kid....
(((J)))
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I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
--Jack Handey
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arvm
journeyman
Reged: 05/05/07
Posts: 88
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Ahh man, that really sucks. Poor guy. I hope his birthday got better. How frustrating. At least your X realizes he did something wrong. I guess that could be considered a step in the right direction.
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saourgirlt
journeyman
Reged: 05/27/08
Posts: 85
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awww man sorry to hear..there is nothing like seeing a kid's dissapointed face. I have a evil step mom in my life too, except she is the show you one up kind of gal..she would have taken a second mortgage out to get thomas the train there himself..lol.
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arvm
journeyman
Reged: 05/05/07
Posts: 88
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Sounds like my Brother's X (that he still lives with)
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mommynurse
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/26/05
Posts: 4386
Loc: Indiana
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He turned 13 and not 3, right? At least she could've gotten him some grown up cupcakes!!
I go thru the same thing with XH and SM. Their joint kids are still really young and they get huge birthdays every year while my kids just get a card with $20 and no cake. It doesn't bother DS10 at all, but DD15 always mentions it.
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Handed lemons? Find someone else who was handed Vodka and have a party--Ron White
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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First, why is the kid even in the ROOM when you and he are speaking about parenting time? Sorry, he might be a bad Dad, she might be an evil stepmom, but that is even MORE reason to keep him out of it.
Second, Dads response seems to be REASONABLE, it was a mistake, he sent SM to get the cake, she blew it (whether on purpose or on accident), he SEEMS to want to rectify it, why wouldn't you CORRECT the child for being mad at Dad, because he was most likely WORKING to pay SUPPORT when the cake was bought?
I am NOT defending him, just asking why you immediately placed the blame on Dad, and then seemed to SUPPORT the child's ager and hatred? There are going to be people who do thoughtless things in life, we have to teach our kids to get past it.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Spring
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 7972
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You now...I was just thinking about BM missing SD16's birthdays...she has not celebrated a birthday for her since her 10th birthday. For SD's 11th birthday, she was still living with BM...and BM told her she was bad and couldn't have a birthday...and she hasn't had one with her since.
Evil people
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Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"The last 3 years THEY have bought his brothers ice cream cakes and woke them all up at midnight to eat it since thats when the birthday started. [...] but DAD promised it would be differant this year because he has shared custody now."
Okay, so I added the above emphasis, but now y'all got me defending a smom?? What's up with that... here I go anyway... so, if THEY, meaning bf and sm, usually buy the cake, DAD is the one who promised, why is the thread called EVIL SM? Sure she, doesn't sound too bright for trying to serve a 13yr old Thomas cupcake, but seriously, why wasn't dad involved in this? Surely, dad does have enough time off from work to buy a freaking ice cream cake for his kid? It just seems that his anger is misplaced on sm... which is why I am a big proponent of letting bioparents be...the parents... it's dad's kid on dad's time, why wasn't he at least WITH sm to buy the cake? Isn't that kind of stuff the fun of parenting, picking out bday cakes, planning the surprise...too bad dad didn't "get it"...
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