elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835
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Getting ready to move (again) so I am preparing for the mover to arrive. Eventually they will take my computer and I will be MIA for a while.
Been very busy the last few weeks being SS/SD/Ellie/Twinay/Twinby's mommy all by my lonesome as DH is out until the end of the summer. And I had to get one lazy 15 yo procrastinator to prepare for his finals. I think he did all right he should be on the honor roll again this quarter. Far cry from the D's of last year.
DH and I are struggling with what to do about SD13. She is now the one with D's. Which we knew would happen. Her psychological issues have stagnated at best - I really think she has declined. She seemed depressed and withdrawn while she was here. Her personal hygiene has plummeted - she only showers when forced, she doesn't use soap unless told to and even then I have had to send her back because her hair was still disgusting, she is starting to get acne which will likely only get worse, she had to have her braces removed and teeth cleaned because she doesn't brush her teeth and they were getting gross. They increased her meds, but the problem is - EVERY time DH talks to the Drs they say that SD and BM are telling them everything is GREAT. When DH brings up problems he's noticed (which aren't many - we just don't see her that often) or information on problems he is able to get from teachers, they come as a total surprise and when SD is asked about them she has a total breakdown and they start to see the issues first hand. But nothing seems to get better and BM seems unwilling or unable to do what needs to be done to foster an environment where she wants to help herself. SD has the same lazy issues as SS too. She has also become a little spiteful to Ellie. DH was here in the beginning, and when he left SD about had a breakdown when he told her it was her turn to shower that morning before we all left. I really don't know WHAT to make of her behavior. The rest of the time she was here she slept 20 hours a day and texted people the other 4. I had to take the phone away a couple times because we were going someplace and she would sit in the corner and text rather than interact with people. I drug her out of bed for some fun things (like amusement parks) but she made a show of being miserable. She DID get a little excited about the horseback riding lessons I got for her, but then they were a disappointment too. Though when I suggested she didn't have to keep going she emphatically wanted to. So who knows that part is probably just the 13 yo girl in her.
So we probably have more than enough to pursue custody on the academic violation of the decree. But a very selfish part of me doesn't want to. DH supports me every step of the way, but by nature of our employment and our strengths most of the work has fallen on me. I just don't know if I can take 2 of them. Especially when the 2nd is not dying to be here. I don't question that we could do better than BM - as long as I have a pulse that will be true - but I do have my own children. Ellie has given up alot so that I could breathe down SS's neck. Now, even SS would have to give up some of me if SD came here. Ultimately I will support whatever decision DH comes to, but I have asked him to consider what the other kids would give up and what HE is going to add to the pot, since being the hard-a$$ tough-love parent is not in his playbook, to help ME out. Because I am busting my arse to help his kids and I am dam tired of hearing about how I left trash in the car for the umpteenth time, the dirty dishes don't belong in the sink, that I don't make SS keep his room immaculate, and how he "thought" he took care of getting the reimbursement check for the moving expenses, making sure they weren't going to jack his pay when he moved without us to a lower paying place, paying for the storage unit, or making sure the movers were actually showing up the day they were supposed to.
Yeah, I am feeling a little overwhelmed and underappreciated right now. I probably should have labeled this a vent. LOL.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8148
Loc: This Asylum --->
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Rats! I expected pictures of you streaking.
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