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needmorepeace
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Reged: 08/03/08
Posts: 2
CA divorce after 28 years, support possibilities
      #435627 - 08/03/08 03:33 PM

Hello,
Sadly, I'm considering divorse after 28 years. My husband is self employed and almost all income is hidden, i.e. our tax returns show us at the poverty level but he earns upwards of 100K a year and I earn (paid in cash) about $18K a year - it varies greatly but I'm not earning much in a word of mouth business that I can't legally advertise.

We have three children, 25,21 and 16 and only the 16 year old lives with us, and would live with me (hopefully) if we separate. I am 61 and have no work history to help me get a job. I do some counseling under the table but it would not be enough to live on. We are about 80K in debt, plus have about $1200 a month in car payments and $2000 a month in mortgage payments and another $3000 in living expenses. We have a home worth about 800K, less $200K still owed on the mortgage, and nothing at all in the bank. We have no retirement or pensions at all since we are both self employeed and I have no work history to even provide Social Security for myself and if we divorse I won't even get half of his SS. We have very limited and very high deductable medical insurance.

I am afraid I will starve if I leave, but living with him is getting increasingly intolerable. Do you have any thoughts or suggestions for me at all? I first found this site after googling whether there is alimony in CA. He has said he will leave and I can have it all, but he is not thinking about any monthly support and we have a lot of debt that we would both be responsible for...so basically "it all" means the responsibility and taking care of our child (my joy).

Thanks for any help you might be willing to offer - I really appreciate it!


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jaiye
old hand
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Reged: 10/27/05
Posts: 860
Re: CA divorce after 28 years, support possibilities [Re: needmorepeace]
      #435645 - 08/03/08 04:37 PM

Since you have been married over 10 years you will get to claim on his socail security.

Gonna be kinda hard to get support if he doesn't show an income. Guess when you all were being greedy and trying to cheat the government and everyone else who does the right thing and pay taxes you maybe should have thought about this kind of thing. Also if he has been hiding his income for a very long time there won't be much of anything in his Social Security Account and had you been claiming your own income instead of hiding it you would have your own Social Security account. Someone has to pay into it in order to collect from it.

Between the two of you you make over $100,000 and you have nothing in savings? what do you guys think was going to be your menas of support when you are really old. The rest of us foolish taxpayers?


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gettingby
journeyman


Reged: 04/24/07
Posts: 89
Re: CA divorce after 28 years, support possibilities [Re: jaiye]
      #435678 - 08/03/08 06:47 PM

Net income shown on tax return and income for support are two different things. Items that are legally allowed as deductions for taxes are often disallowed for calculating income for support, so don't go by what the tax return says. As the previous poster says, you can claim against his SS record, that is totally separate from the divorce settlement. You need to talk to an attorney before you do anything and find out what your situation is. Its too bad you haven't saved for retirement, what were you going to live on even if you didn't get divorced? Was he going to work until he was 85? You are a likely candidate for SS, but it also depends on your ability to earn (if you could legally advertise) and your age.

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lauracriado
recently joined


Reged: 07/31/08
Posts: 5
Re: CA divorce after 28 years, support possibilities [Re: jaiye]
      #435679 - 08/03/08 06:52 PM

ARE YOU SAYING THAT IF YOUR HUSBAND IS JOBLESS, THE COURT WILL NOT MAKE HIM PAY SPOUSAL SUPPORT/ALIMONY?


Quote:

Since you have been married over 10 years you will get to claim on his socail security.

Gonna be kinda hard to get support if he doesn't show an income. Guess when you all were being greedy and trying to cheat the government and everyone else who does the right thing and pay taxes you maybe should have thought about this kind of thing. Also if he has been hiding his income for a very long time there won't be much of anything in his Social Security Account and had you been claiming your own income instead of hiding it you would have your own Social Security account. Someone has to pay into it in order to collect from it.

Between the two of you you make over $100,000 and you have nothing in savings? what do you guys think was going to be your menas of support when you are really old. The rest of us foolish taxpayers?




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needmorepeace
recently joined


Reged: 08/03/08
Posts: 2
Re: CA divorce after 28 years, support possibilities [Re: lauracriado]
      #435788 - 08/04/08 11:05 AM

That I was foolish in many areas of my life, I have to agree. I followed a model laid down for me by my mother and her mother before her - the man works and handles all the money matters (no questions asked) and the woman devotes herself to raising the kids and making a great home. Yes, my daughter has been heavily encouraged to do otherwise and to actually have a SAY in where the money is being spent and managed.

But as to where I find myself here...my husband has believed that fixing up the house to one day support us was enough of a retirement income. I am 61 but I'm capable - and just need to find a situation where I can work and make enough money to get by on and help our 16 year old daughter get a good education (good student). My original question was is alimony a possbility for me and given the hidden income, well...is it a possibility. Gettingby was kind in encouraging me that net income shown on tax returns and income for support are two different things. I guess I will just have to find some way to document the income actually spent - and yes, seeing an attorney before I do anything is an important suggestion. Thanks for your ideas here - I appreciate it. The tongue lashing - well I live with it daily here so it's less than helpful...but I'm sure well intended.


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