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nolonger
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Reged: 09/15/08
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co-parenting when child is sick
      #458685 - 10/06/08 10:33 PM

Today I went to school to get my 4 kids for the start of my 2 day visitation. When I got there, the school secretary informed me that my younger 2 were not in school that day.

The older 2 informed me that I was to get them from dad's b/c they were sick.

Good thing I didn't have an appointment or anything so I had time for the 20 minute out-of-ordinary drive to/from his house.

I called him for permish to go to his house. He hung up on me. I was not ranting/raving, just requesting permish to get the kids from him.

2 more calls resulted in him picking up and hanging up before I could even speak.

When I got there, he had me wait 10 minutes before the boys came out.

I had NO information re: the illnesses.

After an hour or so at home, it was evident to me that the youngest was not sick at all. The older boy had a fever of 103.7. I had no idea when/if he had any Motrin (our usual fever reducer) so I couldn't/wouldn't guess to give it to him unless I had the info soas not to overdose him w/ Motrin!

I called his cell, home, emailed and texted at 4pm. Poor kid had to suffer his high fever until he finally called me at 8PM with this to say: "Use common sense! He woke up at 7, I gave him Motrin. His fever came back at 1, so I gave him another dose."

I replied, "To know that would require me to be a mind reader. This is medication. I will NOT rely on your so-called 'common sense' to medicate my kid! We need to communicate sensibly when it comes to our kid's health!"

It didn't matter, tho. He had already hung up.


Does this not seem like a great injustice to my kid??? Is this not totally irresponsible on his part?

How should I deal with this if it happens again in the future?


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NewNameHere
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Reged: 09/29/08
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Re: co-parenting when child is sick [Re: nolonger]
      #458694 - 10/06/08 10:43 PM

It is a great injustice to the child. This is where the suggestion of; what he does on his parenting time is none of your business, falls apart.

If the father is unwilling to communicate verbally, can you try a hand over notebook? Suggest in the future that any meds given are written in it, since this is something that so clearly impacts the well being of the child.


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Misslisa1017
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Re: co-parenting when child is sick [Re: NewNameHere]
      #458755 - 10/07/08 07:56 AM

But what if the man isn't even willing to do that much? He seems so adamant in his ways! What a jerk.

This clearly reeks of child neglect. She had no clue where the children were no less that they were sick. I'd be livid. This man wasn't up front with her. I'd be so upset. What other options does she have legally? This can't be right what he did to her.


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nolonger
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Re: co-parenting when child is sick [Re: Misslisa1017]
      #458768 - 10/07/08 08:47 AM

Quote:

But what if the man isn't even willing to do that much? He seems so adamant in his ways! What a jerk.

This clearly reeks of child neglect. She had no clue where the children were no less that they were sick. I'd be livid. This man wasn't up front with her. I'd be so upset. What other options does she have legally? This can't be right what he did to her.




Oh, this is nothing! I've been thru so much shart like this, and worse, that the emotions I feel about it are more like mildly annoyed rather than livid.

It's a learned reaction because I know that trying to do anything about it only gets me nowhere.

I did like the notebook suggestion, but you're right, he can't even pick up the phone to tell me details about the illness, like hell he's gonna pick up a pen and paper and actually write.

Any other advice? Legally, I don't think this is worth much, but I added it to my (very long, detailed) journal that paints a picture of an abusive man.


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nolonger
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Reged: 09/15/08
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Re: co-parenting when child is sick [Re: nolonger]
      #460080 - 10/09/08 02:38 PM

My lawyer is taking some kind of action. This behavior, accompanied with voiding a check of mine (from my own account!), screaming at me on the phone and refusal to give me half of our joint account as dictated by the law (not simply a request by my lawyer) as well as refusal to disclose other finances has made my lawyer FINALLY take some kind of action. What that will be remains to be seen...

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matilda
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Re: co-parenting when child is sick [Re: nolonger]
      #462874 - 10/15/08 07:32 PM

For future reference you can alternate doses of Tylenol and Motrin since they are made from different ingredients. When my D's fever isn't breaking I alternate the two to bring it down for a day or two. Just follow the dosage directions for each product. I've had more than one doctor state that this was okay. Not to say that it doesn't suck that his parent won't put his needs first.

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mommyof9
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Reged: 10/04/08
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Re: co-parenting when child is sick [Re: matilda]
      #463104 - 10/16/08 08:22 AM

But how would she know if the dad gave the child motrin vs tylenol. This is a man that needs a judge to rip him a new one. Kind of like my ex endanger kids with severe allergies by buying a cat!

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Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.


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matilda
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Re: co-parenting when child is sick [Re: mommyof9]
      #463477 - 10/16/08 06:29 PM

OP stated in the original post that Motrin is the medicine that they have agreed to use in the past. Not saying he doesn't need to be told off by a judge. But if my child had a temp that high I would be giving him/her meds of some type. I highly doubt one time of giving Motrin before it was due would cause any harm.

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christine1
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Reged: 04/21/08
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Re: co-parenting when child is sick [Re: matilda]
      #464397 - 10/18/08 02:53 PM

I would write him a letter about the event and cc a copy to your attorney (maybe it will scare him). Really if he did not want to talk to you he could have wrote a note to you!!! Very mean on his behalf to do that to his child.

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OffWithTheirHead
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Reged: 02/07/08
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Re: co-parenting when child is sick [Re: christine1]
      #464409 - 10/18/08 03:06 PM

As we have mentioned before, there is an evil, insidious group of posters on this site promoting the hatred of men, the changing of societal boundaries, the promotion of female superiority as they force their propaganda upon this and practically every other discussion/help board financed by the government in Canada, the USA & many other countries as promoted by SOW/NOW. Most even get paid to do this.

This poster is one of them and continuously makes posts that are:

OT

TP

PT

Kf

fG

TI

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No pity upon Feminazi PIGS!


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