llamamama
recently joined
Reged: 10/31/08
Posts: 7
Loc: Illinois
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My divorce was pretty cut & dry, we mutually agreed on it, but our upcoming child custody case is a mess. The fact I am still scared of my ex complicates things even more. I personally cannot see how someone who abused me physically, emotionally & sexually could be granted custoday of my kids, but I am scared to bring any of it up, that part of the past causes me a great deal of pain and the fact that ex just denies any of it ever happend eventhough friends & family saw my bruises, I have police reports from when I called the police, but did not press charges (I was stupid & scared that when he'd get out of jail he'd hurt me worse). He put me in the hospital the last week that I was with him, which was possibly the last straw, but again I was stupid and told the Dr & nurse that I felt safe at home. A lie because I was so scared of him. I don't know what I should do in this situation.
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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Even if you had sufficient evidence, ie: had pressed charges, judges often go on the concept that because you were abused doesn't mean the kids will be. It doesn't always work that way, but sometimes it does. And until, if and when he does abuse the kids, he gets the benefit of the doubt. You now just have to be very observant. Make sure you know what's going on with your kids. If they seem despondent after coming back from being with him, ask them questions, find out why. Watch for bruising. If you suspect abuse (and not just a gut feeling, but have proof to show someone), call CPS. If it happens, he will eventually lose unsupervised visits with the kids.
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Char Fox
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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Do NOT be afraid to bring it up. Without it, the judge cannot make an informed decision. As I said, generally they get the benefit of the doubt. But its up to the judge. Sometimes the judge may order supervised visits to be sure the kids are safe. Always mention everything. You don't know how it will play out and what information will be useful to the judge, so lay it all out.
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Char Fox
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DEFather
member
Reged: 10/26/07
Posts: 157
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This happens to be the second worse femin azi on this site.
If you listen to her, you WILL lose your children.
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