nolonger
enthusiast
Reged: 09/15/08
Posts: 305
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I was away for the extended weekend. The kids came to me today and told me dad was mean, unfair in disciplin and moody.
Fine.
Then they said that dad said, "I'm not mean! That is your mother telling you I'm mean. Mean is if you get beat with a belt. That's what your grandparents used to do to your mom when she was a kid. I don't hit you with a belt. I'm not mean."
I was never beat with a belt.
Add to this that I had to be in direct contact with him today. Something I avoid like the plague but was necessary for me to negotiate something on behalf of my daughter so our visitation could go as I planned. He refused my request. We argued a little. No screaming, no name calling, just two hate-filled adults trying to prove their points.
Then, when the kids were all away from witness, he said to me in the same low-threatening tone, the same aggressive posture as he came at me with clenched fists and bulging vein in his head, he said to me, "You f-ing psycho biotch!I'm gonna f-ing kill you!" Then he slammed his front door on me (I was standing on his porch) and the door hit my hand (no injury whatsoever, my hand just was over the threashold when the door shut).
This is very minor and I'm not running around crying about it or anything.
I just want opinion on whether or not to add this threat to the pile of other junk or not.
We go to mediation next week.
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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Document. You should probably ask for a permanent injunction in your final decree, that way you have some insurance, whether he follows it or not. Pathetic when 2 people are so full of hate for one another, nothing gets accomplished for the kids. Not insulting anyone here, BTDT.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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nolonger
enthusiast
Reged: 09/15/08
Posts: 305
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BL, interestingly, X ended up complying with my request after my daughter pleaded with him through her tears.
It's mind boggling to me that a father can be so oppositional to me while denying what's best for his kids, then turn around 1/2 hour later and comply. It's like, if it was anywhere in your heart to comply, why fight?
Oh yeah, I have the answer: It's not about what's best for the kids, it's about what's more punishing to me.
Convoluted.
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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I know. It sucks for the kids and us, but there isn't much we can do. This is one of the reasons I have sole custody of my kiddos. When you fail to put your children before yourself time and again, you eventually lose alot. Hopefully one day your X will see this, before he causes more damage. We can all hope.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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