kiry
recently joined
Reged: 01/25/09
Posts: 1
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I am in need of help. I am emotionally/verbally abused, and so is my son. My husband is very controlling and has been out of work since October. He had a habit before with beer, but now it seems his habits had worsen since he had been out of work. He drinks anywhere from 6-18 beers (18, in the company of friends). He has been picking on my son (which is not his) for achieving well in school (he had just got accepted into the Gifted and Talented program at school), and several other issues. He has been through 4 jobs in the 4 1/2 years of our marriage. There seems to be a pattern, where towards the end of 2 of those jobs where he was sent home without pay because of his attitude. He doesn't have many friends. Alot of people don't care for him. He cracks beers open as early as 9 am. He also tell me that he has a high tolerance for alcohol, but, when he doesn't have it, he is ill to us, and when he has too much, he is a nut. He verbally abuses me as far as calling me fat, which made me determined to lose weight, and I did it. (NOW he is angry because I had to buy clothes my size, and I get a little more attention than I had when I was a bit overweight.) The list goes on of things he nags me about...I don't have a moment of peace... As of late, on three separate occasions, (my son had a friend over/or had a friend stay over) my husband scared 3 of my sons friends. I don't know how much he drank, or it was withdrawl from beer, he had cussed out one of his friends, and argued with me infront of him; the next he got ill with my son because my son and his son got in an argument, causing the friend to get upset and call his mom to pick him up; and the third friend he yelled at loudly and sternly (because the child tried to use the icemaker from the refrigerator and it was broke), of course a half hour later that child was asking to go home when he was supposed to spend the night. He is also financially controlling, not having my name on the house, cars, our boat, bank accounts, nothing. [b]How can I PROVE ALCOHOLISM for divorce? What legs do I have to stand on? And if Alcohol is proven, what are the outcomes? [/b]
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googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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A divorce can be granted if your spouse is an Habitual Drunk or an Habitual User of Narcotic Drugs. In order to prove habitual drunkenness, there must be a showing that the abuse of alcohol (or drugs) caused the breakdown of the marriage and that the abuse existed at or near the time of filing for divorce. There is no clear definition of "habitual drunkenness." However, drinking a fifth of liquor every day for several years will usually be considered "habitual drunkenness. If your spouse used to drink a lot, but has been clean and sober for some time, you can no longer ask for a divorce on the grounds of habitual drunkenness.
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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eclectichic
recently joined
Reged: 01/18/09
Posts: 3
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I had to resort to hiring a PI to PKUP trash at the curb weekly and then inventory the cans/bottles. This last week resulted in 160 plus cans and over 10 bottles!!! My child was there visiting for 4 of those days!!! I am hoping that, surely, when the court sees this evidence it's a no-brainer!! We have been in the system for over a year. Currently the custody is split with no support!!! On his financial declaration, he show just barely enough to pay his bills. I guess free alcohol is the new bailout plan, huh?
I would suggest consulting a PI. Mine charges $1400 upfrront and bills $70/hr off that...
I'd appreciate any add'l info anyone has on this issue, too. :confused:
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SCInvestigator
recently joined
Reged: 01/31/10
Posts: 10
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I've seen cases where family and friends were able to testify to seeing the spouse drunk on a regular basis, but a PI is a good idea. The problem with the trash count is that the spouse can argue in court that the contents may or may not have been consumed by the spouse....surveillance may be the better bet, especially if he goes out to drink...
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connie60
member
Reged: 08/27/10
Posts: 101
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My husband and I have recently separated, he drinks every night after work and on weekends, and is very verbally and emotionally abusive. he has addmitted that he is an alcoholic. I plan on talking to an attorney about this, as he has made my life miserable and caused a lot of anxiety. I myself am on disability, and the stress only makes my illness worse.
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