decieved59
recently joined
Reged: 12/04/05
Posts: 10
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I'm new here. My sbtbx seems to have wanted out for sometime, but didn't have the nerve to say so for some reason. Here is the time line-
11/04- he threatened to clean out bank accounts and move out of the country-
Next day I retained an attorney who is known in town as THE SHARK. She is the baddest b**** in town. He has bugged me for this whole past year if I ever got my money back from her, and I told him no, I forgot. It's too long of a story to type here, but my instincts told me something was up, so I didn't get my money back.
Well here we are a year later...
11/7/05-had first discussion about how we have both been unhappy for a long time/fighting constantly and agreed to separate (20 yr marriage-in counseling for the last 9 years)
11/9 he signed lease on rental house
11/13 he moved out
11/20 created match.com account/profile
Now that he has moved out, people are coming out of the wood work with stuff they have known for years and didn't want to hurt me.
My question right now is..there is a woman, a social friend of my sister's boyfriend,(who doesn't know my sister is involved with the guy she was blabbing to) who claims my husband is her boyfriend. My attorney says leave it alone, it won't change the settlement, only hurt you emotionally. I want to hire a PI to see if this woman really is spending time with him, or a nutcase or something. He is a prominant business owner in town, success/wealth are obvious.
He is the type of man that has a superior attitude about everyone,does no wrong,controlling, mean person.(He wasn't like that when we got married-or at least he hid those traits well/I was blind?) one child left at home who turns 18 in Feb.
I want to know if this woman is really his girlfriend for my own knowledge. Maybe I want to be able to say to him what about A. when we get into the nasty details of divorcing. We have a large estate, and I can't see him playing nice. He doesn't know I know about her. He also doesn't know I am telling my atty. to get the show rolling tomorrow.
Had to hire a forensic CPA also, atty took one look at tax returns and saw several red flags..he's been hiding money for who knows how long or where it is..I naively just signed on the dotted line all these years. Part of me wants to warn him he is going to be served, part of me wants to hurt him..agghh..I am so confused. Any advice/opinions/input is welcome.We live in a 50/50 no fault state.
Decieved and confused.
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Lyn
journeyman
Reged: 06/04/05
Posts: 95
Loc: NJ
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Decieved - Sounds like you've got a good attorney, and I think I'd stick with her advice re a PI, especially if STBX's monkey business will be irrelevant to settlement in your state. It may be too late for any info a PI might come up with anyway - sort of like closing the barn door after the horse is out, and it sounds like you already have some strong 'bargaining chips' in the financial info you've already gotten. And, BTW, if you can include some protection for yourself should his bad tax returns come to light in the future, try to do so...otherwise you will be equally responsible.
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Lyn
journeyman
Reged: 06/04/05
Posts: 95
Loc: NJ
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Decieved - Sounds like you've got a good attorney, and I think I'd stick with her advice re a PI, especially if STBX's monkey business will be irrelevant to settlement in your state. It may be too late for any info a PI might come up with anyway - don't know how effective they are in unearthing 'historical' info so much as dealing in the moment -sort of like closing the barn door after the horse is out, and it sounds like you already have some strong 'bargaining chips' in the financial info you've already gotten. I'd concentrate on finances as any missing money is 1/2 yours and should be figured into your settlement, and, BTW, if you can include some protection for yourself should the suspicious tax returns come to light in the future, try to do so...otherwise you will be equally responsible.
If on the other hand, money is no object, you feel you have a real need to know and are strong enough to deal with what you might learn, I doubt there will be any harm done by using a PI.
Good Luck! Lyn
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decieved59
recently joined
Reged: 12/04/05
Posts: 10
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The tax returns are notjuggled-he doesn't beleive in grey areas. I just simply never did the math on what was put in the household account and what the bottom line income that is stated on the tax return.Quite a difference in those figures. I also never saw a corporate return until 2 weeks ago when I got a copy from his CPA. Pretty hefty shareholder distribution figures on there..I have no idea where that money is either. Late last year, at his mom's urging, he made me an officer in case something happened to him, the company wouldn't get frozen or something like that. Forensic CPA I see today wants past 5 years of corporate returns, I was too afraid stbx would get a real red flag if his CPA called him and told him, which they did when I requested the first one, so I'll let my attorney get them or something. I did retain the PI, just for my own knowledge. Let the fun begin (being sarcastic)
Thanks for all of your input.
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