gunamakit
journeyman
Reged: 12/11/05
Posts: 78
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I want to get opinions on a situation. My husband and I have been seperated for a few months. He introduced our 12 yr old son to his girlfriend and her family only weeks after we split up. Has had him spending the night with him at her house and talked to him about his (dads) possibly moving in with her. I feel all of this is much to much to soon for him to handle. He has hardly anytime to get used to mom and dad no longer being together and dad brings him into his new family as he calls them. According to my husband he has only been with her since the week of our seperation, but i can hardly belive that.
If your in or have been in this type of situation, weather it be the parent with the new other or not I would love some feedback. If you introduced soon after seperation, would you do it again, wait, any problems with the kids because of it? I am not here to judge anyone, just asking for some help with trying to find other point of views.
thanks
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tabatha
journeyman
Reged: 11/20/05
Posts: 60
Loc: michigan
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my girls kinda knew my new boyfriend because he was a freind of a friend who helped me find a place, we started dating a few weeks after i moved out and my girls took right to him, they knew that their dad and i did not get along any longer and hadnt for a long time. they were 3 and 9. they never treated him badly. when the time came to make a decision about him moving in, i made it a "family decision" the girls had their say and neither one was against it. so it worked out for me. 2 years after our seperation dad got a new girlfriend and moved her in after only dating 2 weeks! she had 2 kids, they took that one harder because they had to share dad with other kids. so i guess it depends on how the childern are introduced to the situation. sorry if i was not much help!!
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Dee78
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11820
Loc: TN
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I do think that there should be some time before they are introduced, how much time would depend on the situation.
I didn't start dating until 7 months after separation and my daughters only met 2 of the guys that I dated, one was my DH. They met him after about a month and it wouldn't have been so soon if ex hadn't wanted to meet earlier than planned. But they met their SM within a few months of our separation though they were "just friend" at that time.
Honestly at my girls' ages, I don't think it mattered a bit. They were too young to know what was going on, that's why I left when I did. They don't remember when Mommy and Daddy were married.
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