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amdar
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Reged: 03/21/05
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Can my child choose to live with her Dad?
      #11118 - 03/21/05 08:42 PM

I recently modified my ex's child support and am getting a lot more money. I think he told our daughter when she is 13 she can choose to live with him. Clearly he does not want to pay child support. He spoils my daughter with dinners, movies, fun/games, etc, and is not the disciplinarian at all. I read my daughter's diary and she was mad at me one day for grounding her for a school issue. She said she can't wait until she is 13 so she can go live with her Dad. I can't imagine where she got this idea other than from him. We live in FL. Can someone give me advice?

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jmm828
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Reged: 03/28/05
Posts: 11
Loc: Pennsylvania
Re: Can my child choose to live with her Dad? [Re: amdar]
      #11560 - 03/31/05 07:35 PM

From what I understand, if there is a custody "battle" in the courts, they tend to look at a lot of factors with just one of them being the child's wishes. (at least that is how it is in the state I live in, Pennsylvania) However, a 13 year old is still a child, and the court looks at the over-all picture as to what is best for her, and not just her preference. Hell, what 13 yo wouldn't want to go live with a "Disneyland" dad! Of course, I think that also once some men find out what full time parenting is like, some would rather pay the child support!!! Kids can't sign their own consents for an operation/drive a car/drink for a reason! If you and your ex can't come to an agreement, then the courts will decide (like I said, this is the way it is in PA) what is in the best interests of the child. Am not sure how much weight the child's preferences are given in your state.
P.S. My 8 y.o. daughter told me she was going to go live with her Daddy (I am mean/have to many rules) 1st time she said that it CRUSHED me....then, after I thought about it, the next time she said it I said "well....too bad, you are STUCK with me!!! LOL
Good luck...hope all goes well for you!

--------------------
Just a squirrel,looking for a nut!


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TNmom
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Reged: 04/21/05
Posts: 72
Loc: Tennessee
Re: Can my child choose to live with her Dad? [Re: amdar]
      #12508 - 04/23/05 01:52 AM

I think most states are pretty much the same on this issue. The courts do take into consideration of what the child wants but as well as looks at all other factors. But you know, many times kids think the grass is greener on the other side, but betch'a if she does go live with him the Disneyland dad will change into the ugly worlock.

Don't worry yourself to death over this. Kids love to play on the parents. She will change her mind 500 times and one day wake up and realize her mom is her best friend. Kids torment the ones they love the most. Trust me.


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Mom2Girls
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Reged: 06/14/05
Posts: 461
Loc: RI
Re: Can my child choose to live with her Dad? [Re: TNmom]
      #152639 - 10/02/06 12:28 PM

Hi,

I imagined when you read what your daughter wrote it hurt you deeply. Rest assured in knowing that courts dont like to remove a child from one home to another unless there is a situation going on that is very bad for the child. Like you let her sleep in and she misses a ton of school, if your living conditions are very bad and unsafe, or if there is indicated reports on you about child abuse.

I have lived on both sides of the fence when it comes to custody/visitation. I can relate to the time when my parenting time was so little that I went well out of my way to always make the visits they had with me special. I think to some degree quite a few NCP do this, and I believe that there are those who do not have the means but would love to. Now that I am the CP it was strange at first for my kids because they were so used to always doing quality things together and not used to seeing me do laundry and scrub floors and definetly not used to my style of parenting once I became the primary care giver in their life...it was like "wow, moms a lot stricter then we thought she would be."

The grass is always greener, especially for a tween or teen, hopefully she will relise what she has with you, I think its their right of passage to think we are very uncool and that nobody has it worse then they do!

Mom 2 Girls


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Maury
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Re: Can my child choose to live with her Dad? [Re: Mom2Girls]
      #154547 - 10/06/06 09:15 PM

First of all, the activities that you desdribe have a name. It is called beingthe "Disney Parent." They spoilthe child and do not impose discipline and based on their limited time with teh child, they do not have to.

Nonethless, in most states, a child never has the last say in what happens with custody. It is based on what is in the best interests of the child. There are a couple states(very fes) that presume what the child desires should occur. I believe Georgia has that presumtion


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12girl12girl12
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Reged: 12/17/08
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Re: Can my child choose to live with her Dad? [Re: Maury]
      #486084 - 12/17/08 05:07 PM

OMG....im 13 and a divorced child....How can you think like that...and READING HER DIARY...what the hell is wrong with you.......omg.....she needs to go live with her dad.

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Yes_Dad
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Re: Can my child choose to live with her Dad? [Re: 12girl12girl12]
      #486989 - 12/20/08 08:05 AM

When she goes for visitation, what is he going to do? Ground her? I hate that Disney Dad crap because most fathers visitation is fleeting. EOW is pretty standard. What is he going to do? Make her scrub the floors when she is there?

Of course he takes her to dinner, or a movie, or whatever.

I would bet if he had greater time with her, he wouldn't be a "Disney Dad", a term that really irks me.


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PAFather
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Reged: 10/08/08
Posts: 16
Re: Can my child choose to live with her Dad? [Re: Yes_Dad]
      #487031 - 12/20/08 11:29 AM

Cute how you discredit without proving a person wrong.

In fact, we have read your posts. You don't even know the difference between a hole in the ground and what you represent…axxhole.

You and your ilk (fellow femin azis) would rather disrupt posts from real posters that need help than give real advice.

There are no other posters on this site, period, that know more than us jovial guys from Fathers' Integrity & Rights Movement.

You can only parrot the filth of your fellow femin azis and have no real thoughts of your own, piglet. You know. We know. Anybody that reads what you have to state can see it.

Ask anyone that is not a femin azi PIG as you are.

Beware:

This is a known liar and disrupter of posts.

This is a known bully.

This is a known femin azi.

This is a known troll poster.

Therefore, whatever she states should be regarded with caution and suspect due to her repeated lies, misinformation and posts in multiple names/genders along with just being an "icky" type subhuman.


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fatherofgrtson
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Reged: 08/03/09
Posts: 1
Re: Can my child choose to live with her Dad? [Re: amdar]
      #562773 - 08/03/09 11:24 PM

my child too wishes to live with me, he is 17, I too am called the Disney dad, or fun time dad, we are given that title by angry mothers and step dads, most of the time only to make the father look like less in the child's eyes, or to make the step father look better to the child, bottom line we are still the child's father, we have been given limited time with our child, so, yes we do enjoyable things with them. we don't get to enjoy the every day things with our child, IE getting up for school, helping with home work,daily chores,ETC.. things most CP's take for granted.The child's views need to be considered,the older they get the more they should have certin rights and say so, this all said with in reason, not just because one parent made them mad. Mine lives in a troubled house hold, mother and step dad fight all the time,( police have been called) step dad has crimial record (7 yrs for robery) has bad temper, Has at times tried to get me to fight him, step dad has made damaging comments to my son, has made false statements about me. So there are things to look at in each case, so don't always be so quick to call the other party fun time parent

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