MomofH
enthusiast
Reged: 03/16/05
Posts: 243
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Just wondering if anyone else has experience this with their child/ren....
We split when son was 8 months, so he's been doing the visitation thing most of his life. From the beginning, son has always acted a bit unusual (for him) upon returning to me after visits to his dad's. He's usually very quiet and wants to keep a physical distance from me for a day or two. As he's gotten older, he's also begun "acting out" when he comes back - completely uncooperative, doesn't want to eat, says he's "mad" at me, quickly frustrated with toys or situations not going his way. Generally typical stuff for the age, but interesting that he exhibits little to none of them after being back for several days... until he goes again.
I believe his dad now has a new baby in the picture (ex has not told me one way or the other) and son's behavior compeltely changed. Last time he came back, he immediately wanted me to hold him for hours and has been more affectionate than ever for the past week - constantly wanting physical contact with me, whether it be snuggling, hugs & kisses or just leaning against me while I'm cooking. Not that I mind at all, but it's very unusual for him.
As noted above, the biggest problem is the lack of information i receive about his time with dad. Ex tells me only the bare minimum (i.e.: son was a "good boy", "had fun", etc.) And son seldom speaks of his time at dad's, though I really try to make sure he knows it's OK to discuss with me. I'm not trying to get any "dirt" on anyone - just want to do what I can to help transitions be comfortable for son.
If anyone has experienced something like this, it would really help to hear how others handled it. Thanks!
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Simply_me
enthusiast
Reged: 02/13/06
Posts: 358
Loc: Florida
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My youngest daughter ...now 6....acts strange everytime she comes back from visiting her dad....its like she has no concept of how she is supposed to act in our house....i dont know why.....supposedly he is the "strict" parent. I think that when my kids are over there....they are allowed to run wild and they dont have alot of supervision.
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AngiKay
member
Reged: 02/22/06
Posts: 175
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I think that this situation is normal for kids who have more than one household. My son is 10 and he always returns from his Dad's "not quite right" and it usually takes him a few days before he is "normal" again. I also have 2 step-daughters and when they visited with their mother, they too would take a few days to return to "normal." I think it is just a matter of different house, different rules. It seems to me that when kids constantly have to re-adjust to a different environment, they have a difficult time figuring out what the expectations are in each household.
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