Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online


Divorce Source Community Forums >> Helping Your Child(ren)

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1
MomofH
enthusiast
*

Reged: 03/16/05
Posts: 243
Almost 4yo acts strange after visits
      #60056 - 01/03/06 11:35 AM

Just wondering if anyone else has experience this with their child/ren....
We split when son was 8 months, so he's been doing the visitation thing most of his life. From the beginning, son has always acted a bit unusual (for him) upon returning to me after visits to his dad's. He's usually very quiet and wants to keep a physical distance from me for a day or two. As he's gotten older, he's also begun "acting out" when he comes back - completely uncooperative, doesn't want to eat, says he's "mad" at me, quickly frustrated with toys or situations not going his way. Generally typical stuff for the age, but interesting that he exhibits little to none of them after being back for several days... until he goes again.
I believe his dad now has a new baby in the picture (ex has not told me one way or the other) and son's behavior compeltely changed. Last time he came back, he immediately wanted me to hold him for hours and has been more affectionate than ever for the past week - constantly wanting physical contact with me, whether it be snuggling, hugs & kisses or just leaning against me while I'm cooking. Not that I mind at all, but it's very unusual for him.
As noted above, the biggest problem is the lack of information i receive about his time with dad. Ex tells me only the bare minimum (i.e.: son was a "good boy", "had fun", etc.) And son seldom speaks of his time at dad's, though I really try to make sure he knows it's OK to discuss with me. I'm not trying to get any "dirt" on anyone - just want to do what I can to help transitions be comfortable for son.
If anyone has experienced something like this, it would really help to hear how others handled it. Thanks!


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Simply_me
enthusiast
*

Reged: 02/13/06
Posts: 358
Loc: Florida
Re: Almost 4yo acts strange after visits [Re: MomofH]
      #82403 - 02/25/06 06:36 AM

My youngest daughter ...now 6....acts strange everytime she comes back from visiting her dad....its like she has no concept of how she is supposed to act in our house....i dont know why.....supposedly he is the "strict" parent. I think that when my kids are over there....they are allowed to run wild and they dont have alot of supervision.

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
AngiKay
member


Reged: 02/22/06
Posts: 175
Re: Almost 4yo acts strange after visits [Re: Simply_me]
      #82601 - 02/26/06 06:47 PM

I think that this situation is normal for kids who have more than one household. My son is 10 and he always returns from his Dad's "not quite right" and it usually takes him a few days before he is "normal" again. I also have 2 step-daughters and when they visited with their mother, they too would take a few days to return to "normal." I think it is just a matter of different house, different rules. It seems to me that when kids constantly have to re-adjust to a different environment, they have a difficult time figuring out what the expectations are in each household.

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Pages: 1



Extra information
0 registered and 1 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  dsAdmin 

Print Topic

Forum Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is disabled
      UBBCode is disabled

Rating:
Topic views: 2987

Rate this topic

Jump to

Contact Us Divorce Source Home

*
UBB.threads™ 6.5.1.1


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: