danj91
recently joined
Reged: 11/20/09
Posts: 4
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I dont know what to do. My wife has told me a few times now over the last two years that she wants a divorce and isnt happy. We have gone to counseling but that didnt change anything for her. She said she didnt agree with what the therapist recommended we do.
Im very confused about what to do because it seems like she wants to end the marriage but doesnt want to be the one to actually make the decision to do it. She says she feels guilty about breaking the family up, we have a 2 year old son, and wants her family to be together but she still has these feelings that she cant get rid of.
Shes always mad for no reason at all. She will come home and instantly give me attitude. When I ask her whats going on she says shes just mad at me for being me. I dont even have to do anything. But when it comes time to see a lawyer, or sign papers for the do it yourself divorce she immediately starts crying and says that she doesnt want to do it.
Im really confused about what to do. I feel like nothing is ever going to change on her end. She pretty much tells me that nothing is going to change, thats just how she is going to be. I feel really guilty about actually walking out on my son. I really want to be happily married to my wife and raise our son together.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
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myheart
enthusiast
Reged: 05/21/09
Posts: 213
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I am sorry to hear this. Obviously something is going on with her. Therapist may be able to help her to come to a conclusion, if she goes alone. May be she needs to figure out what does she want. If she wants family then she has to put her heart and soul in having one, she can't have both ways...
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danj91
recently joined
Reged: 11/20/09
Posts: 4
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Yes, something is going on. She says shes depressed and cant trust any decision she may come up with. So in the meantime Im stuck in limbo. Im in a bad marriage to someone that doesnt want to fix it and doesnt want to end it.
Everything she has told me she has issues with I have tried to work on and be a better husband. Im not the tidiest person but Im also not a complete slob. She tells me that it really bothers her when I clean and dont use a certain type of towel to clean with, or clean the showers when I do the bathroom or wipe the walls down when I clean the kitchen. I have tried to address these things but when there is nothing noticeable to complain about, she just gets on the computer and ignores me. When I ask whats wrong, she says she doesnt know but shes annoyed.
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myheart
enthusiast
Reged: 05/21/09
Posts: 213
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That is the key, I was going to say. Depression can damage a marriage, my stbx had that problem too, but he didn't get help, even his doc suggested. In depression as person's capability to make any decision goes out the door, they can't sope with everyday challanges and become a big basket case and effect everybody around them. My friendly advice, I am no expert, is first get depression fix, before making any decision on yuor marriage, you may not have that problem at all, who knows.... Goodluck.
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danj91
recently joined
Reged: 11/20/09
Posts: 4
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I agree with you. but if she doesnt want to get help for it i cant make her. Thank you for your advice
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