vwolf
recently joined
Reged: 12/07/09
Posts: 1
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Ok so I have an issue I don't even really know how to even begin dealing with. My parents are [censored] immigrants who after 20 years still can't speak english very well. My father can not speak at all and because of this he treats my mom like a slave to handle all of his debt by herself. He probably doesn't even have the mental capacity to read a contract. He's an artist who became pretty successful a number of years ago but now, especially because of the economy, his income has dwindled to next to nothing. My mom managed the business because my father is crazy and would always get into absurd arguments with gallery owners and pretty much anyone who doesn't treat him like hes Picasso or something. (Hes not even that good at all.) Also he is prone to scheming and scamming. The older he gets the less we can convince him not to do something incredibly stupid and damaging. He bought two condos on a whim which wiped out our savings. He canceled his insurance and then got eye surgery and didn't pay the bills. He spends cash and runs up credit cards constantly. My mother doesn't have a job, I don't even know whats going on financially because I'm just trying to get through school. I had to move back home with them after two years of finally getting away from years of trauma. I'm someone who needs balance, and peace to be able to function, I've dealt with a lot of psychological issues growing up here. I used to strip before to be able to afford to move out and go to school, but the club I worked at started to mistreat me so I had to quit and return here.
I can't stand watching my father treat my mother as if she is his servant. He really thinks he is a genius artist and because of this everyone needs to wait on him hand and foot. He is absolutely crazy and there is no reasoning with him. He feels no sympathy for either of us and although he hasn't been stupid enough to hit either of us in recent years he has threatened us with knives. I actually started to train at a local fighting gym to protect myself against him when I was 17, it worked.
My moms name is on the house which has a possibility of getting foreclosed on in the next two years. I just have no idea what to do. I love my mother and wish we could escape from him, but she is also unstable and seems paralyzed. Any advice would be helpful. Can I get him committed or something?
Edited by vwolf (12/07/09 05:35 PM)
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ILMimi
addict
Reged: 01/03/08
Posts: 502
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Having lived with my ex who is bipolar and an addict, I can say that your desciption of your father does sound like he has a serious mental illness (bipolar, borderline personality disorder, etc.). Unfortunately the only way you can get him involuntarily committed is if he is an imminent threat to himself or someone else. It's very hard to prove.
I know this would be hard but what you need to do is move out of the house. And your Mother should consider a divorce even though it sounds like that would be difficult as well. He may continue to get worse and if that's the case, he will drag her down with him as well.
Is there anyone in your family who can talk to her and support her at this time?
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