The_New_Wife
recently joined
Reged: 02/02/10
Posts: 2
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UGH! I wish this woman would just go away!
Any glimmers of hope from anyone (especially you guys) who have been in a similar situation.
My fiance and I finally scratched together enough money for him to file for divorce.
He has been separated for almost 3 years and he has had very little contact with his ex. When she responded to the filing (which she did my handwriting a letter on a steno pad and sending a copy to him and to the court on the last possible day she could respond), she asked for alimony.
My fiance responded and after fighting tooth and nail for 3 months to get her to file the correct paperwork (like her financial affidavit) a court date was set for the end of January.
When my fiance and his soon-to-be ex went infront ofthe magistrate, the mag declared that they needed to go into mediation to settle the alimony dispute.
The financial situations look like this:
His ex is now on disability and collects payments and has medicare and food stamps. Her housing situation has not changed because she is still living with her mother. She and my fiance lived with her mother when they were together because his ex refused to move.
My husband is on unemployment and is a part time student trying to better himself so he may find a job. He has no insurance and does not qualify for food stamps.
I am a full time student and I support myself through my student loans.
She receives only 75 dollars less a month than he receives. We reside in Florida and according to case law, both unemployment and disability payments can be used to pay alimony. When my ex found that out he decided to countersue her for alimony also.
His mediation hearing is set for March.
I would like to know if anyone out there has successfully gotten out of having to pay alimony for similar reasons...
*No contact for 2+ years
*similar incomes
*very little to no changes in post-marital lifestyle
*no children or real property involved
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
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I don't understand.....is their divorce final ? I thought all issues had to be finalized before the final divorce decree.
Your husband is paying the price for being an idiot and not getting a divorce sooner....if she became disabled in that intervening period.
If his ex is getting foodstamps, she is not getting much from disability. Does she have ssi, ssdi, or both ?
Your husband will make more when he is able to get a new job.
"When my ex found that out he decided to countersue her for alimony also." Huh ? Now's he's you ex ? Whoever he is.....he's an ass. He can get a job. She cannot get her health back.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20052
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"Huh ? Now's he's you ex ?"
A bit confusing, eh? He's the fiance AND the ex, she's "The New Wife".
The only advice I have for "The New Wife". RUN.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
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lol.....freudian slip ?
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d2njti
member
Reged: 03/05/08
Posts: 187
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"*No contact for 2+ years" - Makes little or no difference
"*similar incomes" - Great argument.
"*very little to no changes in post-marital lifestyle" - So what.
"*no children or real property involved" - Good, simpler, but not significant.
"He has been separated for almost 3 years" - and never filed. very stupid.
"His ex is now on disability" - very strong argument for her.
"She receives only 75 dollars less a month than he receives" - very strong argument for him.
"is a part time student" - so probably short term marriage. Strong argument for him.
"My fiance" - With a married man? Very stupid.
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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First of all, you are not a "new wife" nor is he your "husband." He is a married man and you are his girl-friend.
His ex is disabled, receiving beneifts and he is on unemployment and going to school.
Doubtful she'll get alimony in the current situation, but your BOYFRIEND is able-bodied and his wife is not. Therefore, they may withhold their decision on alimony until he finds employment.
He's an idiot for not pursuing this divorce years ago. The longer they are married, the greater likelihood he'll be paying alimony.
If she's smart, she'll drag this out until his unemployment runs out and he is forced to get a job.
How long have they been married? How much did he make in his former job? Was he laid-off, fired, etc...?
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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"*No contact for 2+ years" - Makes little or no difference
***********
Not necessarily true. She has not had his financial help for more than two years, why does she need it now that he has filed for divorce? Why change the status quo?
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Thanks for the laugh. Finally a WOMAN complaining about another WOMAN tryin' to get a share of HER man's money.
Sorry, sweetie, divorce is for life, he might end up writing her checks. You should be helping him do it...
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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The_New_Wife
recently joined
Reged: 02/02/10
Posts: 2
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Thanks for a lot of ridicule and judgment. Other than what little information I provided about the proceedings you've somehow managed to make several incorrect assumptions about my character, my fiance's character, the nature of our relationship and of his pre-seperation relationship with his ex. Nice. Do you kiss your children good night with those thoughts in your mind? I weep for their futures if you do.
A little advice for you, it's a oldie but a goodie and obviously you were absent from conscience during this lesson...if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
Here's a little Buddhist wisdom for you: "Before you speak, ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, does it improve upon the silence".
For those of you who provided insight into the situation...I thank you.
For the rest...I now understand why you're on a divorce forum...
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amazing
member
Reged: 09/18/09
Posts: 166
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You can expect that coming from yergna. Dont take it personal. Just avoid her like I do.
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