lanifly
recently joined
Reged: 03/24/10
Posts: 2
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I will try to keep this brief and stick to the facts... haha.
I am 30yrs old been married to my STBXH for 9yrs. We have two beautiful daughters who are 6 & 8.
My STBXH has been diagnosed by 2 separate drs. with bipolar disorder. In the time that we have been married he has been admitted twice for 2 week time periods to mental health facilities. Leading up to those admittances he had disappeared (left the house, not answering phone calls etc). I took him back EVERYTIME. He had an illness and was willing to get the help he needed and I loved him. I suspect there was infidelity involved but he claims there wasn't... ignorance is bliss is it not? I know for sure one time he had an affair with another woman online, i found evidence. They had never met face to face.
Those were just the large key incidents, there were many other minor incidents of lying etc etc along the way.
At the end of February I discovered that he was having another affair with another woman online. He admitted to the relationship being 3 weeks long and that he was leaving me for her. (good riddance!)
I said fine. We will get a divorce and do this the right way for the kids. He agreed. He stayed in the house living in the basement for a week, til we could tell the kids on a friday night.
He moved out that friday night and i had the locks changed on the house.
He lives 10 minutes down the street at a friends house.
He told the kids he would see them every Sunday from 6:30-8pm. His choice... he didn't even want to commit to that. I also told him anytime he wanted to see the kids he could come by and tuck them in. Just call ahead of time. I unfortunately can not leave the children alone with him in his bipolar state. I know he has been drinking heavily and i'm sure there is drug abuse involved as there had been in the past.
Two weeks have gone by and he has given us nothing in the way of $. He had his direct deposit stopped from our joint account. I am also pretty much a stay at home mom. I do work a small 10hr/wk part time job. Thankfully I have some $ in the bank and supportive parents until the courts do their job.
This Sunday he was supposed to see the kids. No call, no show.
The kids have been having a hard time of it. I have been doing what i can for them... i almost feel like i'm numb. It is all just so painful I can't let myself feel it because i have those two gorgeous girls to care for.
Yes, I do have a great attorney, we are just waiting for the paperwork to be sent back from the courts re: his summons.
I am done. I can't live like this with him anymore.
whew... thanks for listening.
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Hopefully YOU will have to pay him alimony, after all he is disabled, eh ? Fair is fair...
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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KiwiGirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/09/05
Posts: 6271
Loc: Plains State
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Ignore mr angry backwards.
There comes a time when you have to draw a line in the sand and not allow people to step over it. Your stbx is responsible for himself and the way he treats people. He is diagnosed with a mental condition and can choose whether to get the help he needs or not.
Stick to minimal communication and try to ensure it is all in texts or emails so you have evidence for the future.
His relationship with his daughters is his to establish. Even in an "intact' family children develop different kinds of relationships with their parents. My parents are still married (coming up 50 yrs) and the way I interact with my mum is different to the way I interact with my dad.
Your daughters will naturally miss him but they will learn who they can rely on and who will let them down.
It does get easier, promise.
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If I can't be part of the solution I insist on being most of the problem
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