TOMW
recently joined
Reged: 05/04/10
Posts: 1
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Help!, Im currently going to go to trial in the upcoming months, supreme court.
Background: about a 1 1/2 year ago, I filed for divorce, my laywers submitted to supreme court, Wife had abanded us, me and my 10yr old son. I've be granted temp sole custody. Wife is bipolar and in and out of detox approx 8-7 times. Court issued an order for her not allow on the premises of my home. She now lives in either her mother's home or boyfriends house. she has a lawyer whom she doesnt give money to for court ( some kind of volunteer thing), she has been granted supervise visitation with child for 5 hours a week. we tried to settle the stipulation, but she wont sign and now she wants maintenance, she doesnt pay any of house bills, child care, or even any kind of child suport. I have the blunt of it all. She claims she is not working and is collecting social sevices
can she claim maintenance from me? My lawyers isn't exactly giving me the right answer. what are the possible choices? how it is formulated. I'm just barely making it by with money.
why is it that she commmited the crime and I'm paying for it?
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6458
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Yes, she can file requesting spousal support. Whether or not a judge grants it is another matter.
Is she capable of working or is she claiming disability ? If so, has she filed for SSDI or SSI ? How long were you married for ? From what I've read on here, it might help your position if you've been seperated for 1.5 years and she is only asking for SS now. As in, if she didn't need money for support in that time, why does she now ? Was she in treatment most of that time ?
Have you filed for CS yet ?
What is your lawyer saying that "isn't the right answer" ?
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timbuktu
journeyman
Reged: 09/26/09
Posts: 77
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Ya know...I hate to say it but many times..in cases of divorce..lawyers will just bleed you dry and drag things out in court so badly that you'll spend the rest of your days paying them off.
I've had many friends who went through this..hired an attorney and things went from bad to worse when all they wanted was a peaceful divorce..and for their ex to have to pay child support.
Many of my friends (with children) ended up firing their attorneys and went Pro Se. I'm not trying to be a big advertisement for Pro Se as they did well for me..but from others that I've spoken with that decided to fire their attys and go through Pro Se..it was a lot cheaper..they weren't disappointed...and got their divorces much easier and sooner.
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DeeCee
addict
Reged: 10/08/07
Posts: 420
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[quote]Ya know...I hate to say it but many times..in cases of divorce..lawyers will just bleed you dry and drag things out in court so badly that you'll spend the rest of your days paying them off.
I've had many friends who went through this..hired an attorney and things went from bad to worse when all they wanted was a peaceful divorce..and for their ex to have to pay child support.
Many of my friends (with children) ended up firing their attorneys and went Pro Se. I'm not trying to be a big advertisement for Pro Se as they did well for me..but from others that I've spoken with that decided to fire their attys and go through Pro Se..it was a lot cheaper..they weren't disappointed...and got their divorces much easier and sooner. [/quote]
This is my story, only my divorce didn't involve children. Just a husband who feels everything is all his, and wants to make no fair settlement. I went BROKE with my attorney fighting for a settlement of some reasonable amount, which would allow me to start over in a humane manner. But as 3 years and endless trials and hearing went by I realized I was only pouring money into my lawyer's pocket. I became furious after I discovered (by attempting a free legal aid advice offered by NY bar association) that my lawyer misled me...I knew it was time to get rid of him when he had the audacity to tell me, I had better take my husband's last offer which was equivalent to $5K after I had spent over $15K to my lawyer..Was he insane!
Plus my husband had hidden assets and hidden $$$ which we exposed during a deposition. I fired him. I am Pro Se and figured I fight my own battles. LAWYERS ARE MODERN DAY EXTORTIONIST ..gangsters with legal lingo that we as ordinary individuals don't understand..But as a Pro Se, you learn fast what the lingo means. Is it risky yes, but when you are not being bankrupt by a lawyer who smiles and tells you he's working for you. That is a LIE. He/She is working for themselves.
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