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USAF_Engineer
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Reged: 12/28/10
Posts: 2
Overseas Military Divorce
      #718525 - 12/28/10 06:48 AM

I'm stationed in Italy, and am considering divorce from my wife of 20+ years. No specific reason, just grown apart long ago and there's really nothing left. So I think it will be uncontested, though I'm not 100% sure of that. I want to know some details of what we will need to do so I can lay it out for her (after the shouting). Bottom line question is how would we start?

We were married in CA, I am a resident of CO (never changed my residency since I lived there) and she is resident in ND (she had to change it when we lived there). Neither of us plans to go back to any of those places. In fact, I don't plan to go back to the States any time soon; I like being stationed overseas. I assume once I broach the subject with her she will move back to the States, probably to WA where her mom lives. So now we have 4 different states in the mix. Any thoughts on how to start?

Just for a complete picture, we have 1 child in high school, who will need to finish the school year here (a potentially messy short-term issue). I am only 14 years into my military career, so not yet worried about retirement pay. Unfortunately my wife hasn't worked for years. In the past when the subject has come up she has said "You wouldn't need to support me," but I would certainly not just cut her off. So I'll have to consider how to best work within the military pay system to help her get her feet on the ground. And as a final complicating issue, I will be getting a new assignment next summer (2011). Which means either we start the process soon, or I delay it until we complete the move?

Any advice would be appreciated.


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Miranda
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Re: Overseas Military Divorce [Re: USAF_Engineer]
      #719104 - 12/29/10 07:29 PM

You can get an Italian divorce and it can be filed in the states of your residency. I lived in Germany and that is what people did at that time.

Secondly your retirement is marital property and is up for division, so I don't understand the "I am not worried about retirement pay" statement. One thing is, is that DFAS won't acknowledge foreign court orders.

If you are in Italy, and ADAF I know the JAG well. He is a good person to maybe get some info from.

How do you plan an ERD? And when is your DEROS?

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13.1...because I am only half crazy!

Edited by Miranda (12/29/10 07:33 PM)


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USAF_Engineer
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Reged: 12/28/10
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Re: Overseas Military Divorce [Re: Miranda]
      #720871 - 01/04/11 02:03 AM

I guess my statement about retirement pay was based on the fact it's still a ways out on the horizon, so not something I'm worried about NOW. Though I see it would be included in any division of property.

As for an Italian divorce, I just don't see that happening...my Italian is sufficient for markets and restaurants, but not for wending my way through the Italian courts. I suppose I could hire an Italian lawyer, but considering I'm 6 months from PCSing and how quickly ANYTHING happens in Italy, I'd rather not get involved at this point.

Yes AD AF but not at Aviano if that is what you are thinking...I'm in Naples at a remote Det. The USN provides our support, including legal advice. I suppose I should have a chat with them.

Have not made any plans yet for an ERD. DEROS is Sept 2011, but assignment could come any time from June on.


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Miranda
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Reged: 06/02/05
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Re: Overseas Military Divorce [Re: USAF_Engineer]
      #720886 - 01/04/11 07:35 AM

Overseas divorces are pains. I would absolutely speak with JAG as you have separation, command sponsorship, ERD, and support issues.

If the divorce is uncontested you could hire an attorney to draw up and file paperwork in your HOR.

I stopped at Naples on my way back from the middle east in the mid 90's. Gorgeous place. Lucky Duck.

--------------------
13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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justmekc81
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Reged: 01/13/11
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Re: Overseas Military Divorce [Re: Miranda]
      #723697 - 01/13/11 02:25 AM

I'm in your wife's situation. My husband is in Italy and has 6 months left before he leaves. We recently separated and I moved back to the states. Before I left I visited Jag and was told that each state has different laws about filing and we would have to consider those when/wherever I moved. We had CA, VA and TX to worry about when considering whose laws we were going to go by. Each state required that I was a resident if I wanted to file for divorce and establishing residency was different in each state (for example, I had to live in CA for 6 months to establish residency, 3 months for Texas). I am actually not sure where I can legally claim residency so I decided to just go ahead and file immediately in whatever state I decided to go back to, and if the courts decided that they needed proof of residency, I would just deal with that when the time came. The Jag officer warned me that if I filed and the court missed that I wasn't a resident, my husband could hold it against me later and claim that we were not legally divorced. I don't know about your situation but it seems like you and your wife are on good terms and wouldn't have to worry about this issue.

Anyway, I wouldn't go through Italy for a divorce either. You can get a translator through the military but I know what you mean about things happening slowly there.

My suggestion is to have some papers drawn up before she leaves for peace of mind (who will be getting what furniture or if you are going to give her spousal support, etc) then have her file as soon as she gets home to which ever state it is that she will be moving. You can look up the residency laws online. Since everything seems calm between you two, maybe consider waiting the needed amount of time to establish residency before she files. Maybe she can go home and not file until you are there? Anyway, just some options. HTH


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