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debra9591
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How long does it take to get child support?
      #726564 - 01/23/11 03:37 PM

My husband has been saying he is leaving for over 6 months. He says he wants to do other things with his life, whatever that means. All he has been doing all this time is sleeping here in our daughters room. But he never seems to actually leave for good. I feel like a yoyo. He has fixed up a pool house on his friends property and appaerently that will be his new bachelor pad. This week he removed all his paycheck from our joint account leaving me nothing for food or bills. He has apparently been taking my daughter to his new place where there is a woman apparently living there. They also have frequent visitors who are known swingers. Our daughter is 12 years old and very upset about th presence of these women in her fathers new home. I just found out this weekend about something called divorce from bed and board that may help me get him out of here. I am going to the courthouse in the morning to see how I do this. I am in North Carolina and have no idea how any of this works. Would such a motion include child and spousal support? Or are they all seperate issues? If I file tomorrow how long will it take to get it granted? Besides the 12 year old we adopted together as an infant I have 2 adult sone who are multiply handicapped that live with me. I adopted them as babies as a single parent. I have no family in NC and he has left me in the middle of no where with a car that will not pass inspection while he has the other 3 vehicles plus a company supplied work van. I am not even sur what I should be asking for. I do work from home for my sons adult day program and I make $8.00 per hour. Last I knew he made $17.25 an hour plus overtime and bonuses. Thanks to anyone who can offer some advice. I feel so alone right now. And this from a 55 year old man.

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Miranda
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Re: How long does it take to get child support? [Re: debra9591]
      #726566 - 01/23/11 03:47 PM

It has taken me nearly 14 years no and I still don't get it.

There are a lot of factors, custody orders, lawyers, your ex having a stable job. Filing is your first step.

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13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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debra9591
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Re: How long does it take to get child support? [Re: Miranda]
      #726588 - 01/23/11 06:20 PM

Wow, 14 years? We will starve to death long before that!

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DedicatedDad
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Re: How long does it take to get child support? [Re: Miranda]
      #726590 - 01/23/11 06:25 PM

I think it's honorable to raise 2 special needs kids that weren't mine, but why would someone adopt 2 special needs kids with an $8/hour job and no other support. The govt. has probably put out a fortune raising these kids. How else would one support them?

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debra9591
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Re: How long does it take to get child support? [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #726593 - 01/23/11 06:43 PM

I don't understand your reply? I work for my sons adult program. My earnings from that job are $8.00 per hour. My sons are not my husbands children. He does not support them. Because they are adults they receive SSI. Together we have a 12 year old daughter. He cleared out the bank account sometime between wednesday morning and friday morning. His paycheck, my paycheck and some of my sons money was in that account so that bills could be paid and food could be bought. Now it is all gone and I have nothing left to pay the still outstanding bills and to buy food and gas with.

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debra9591
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Re: How long does it take to get child support? [Re: debra9591]
      #726595 - 01/23/11 06:45 PM

Ar you saying he is honorable? I must be misunderstanding you.

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DedicatedDad
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Re: How long does it take to get child support? [Re: debra9591]
      #726596 - 01/23/11 06:50 PM

I said adopting 2 special needs kids is honorable, but adopting any children without the financial means to support them is foolish. Although, I suppose the state puts out far less in SSI than they would to have supported them in a group home.

As for your ex, you need an attorney to establish temporary child support, alimony if possible, and a parenting plan.


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debra9591
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Re: How long does it take to get child support? [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #726598 - 01/23/11 07:07 PM

I adopted them when they were babies. They are now 25 and 29 years old. And yes, for the state they were adopted in, NJ it was far cheaper for an adoption subsidy to be provided than to pay for institutionization. Now it is SSI instead of the adoption subsidies because of their ages. With assistance supporting them has never been a hardship and I have always just worried about earning enough to support myself so I have never needed to rely on their money for my own needs. Now my daughter is another story. She was supposed to have special needs but she does not. As with most 12 year old girls she is pretty expensive to care for. She has had a horse for over 4 years who has to be boarded, lessons need to be paid for weekly. She is homeschooled so has educational expenses that reoccur frequently. She needs to eat and have clothing. She has a social life. She should not have to sacrifice because dad now wants to be a swinger. I cannot afford an attorney at th moment because he cleared out the bank account. I have to file on my own. At least until child support kicks in. I was hoping for all of our sakes we could do most of the divorce on our own by mutual agrements. But he has now made that impossible. I have never done this before. I guess what I am looking for here is a little guidance. Some suggestions.

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debra9591
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Re: How long does it take to get child support? [Re: debra9591]
      #726601 - 01/23/11 07:11 PM

How long does it usually take to get a temporary order? If I go tomorrow would it be ordered temporarily tomorrow? I have all th things I think I need like my daughter birth certificate, our marriage certificate, I can stop by the bank guess and get a print out of last weeks activity, SS numbers, his employer, prvious years tax returns, etc.

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Miranda
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Reged: 06/02/05
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Re: How long does it take to get child support? [Re: debra9591]
      #726602 - 01/23/11 07:13 PM

No, you file and he has 30 days to respond and then a court hearing is set. Which could be months from now.

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13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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