shekicksass007
recently joined
Reged: 03/24/11
Posts: 8
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Quick background on my situation: I met my husband while I was deployed June09-Dec09. When we got back to home station (we are both active duty Air Force) I found out I was pregnant in May. Shortly after that I broke it off with him and moved out in August, but we never got legally separated. I filed for divorce in October and it was denied/postponed due to the pregnancy. February 7 I gave birth to the child.
He denied the kid was his and claimed I left him for another man, but I got a paternity test and proved it was his. It is now almost April and I haven't received a penny from him. Interim support does exist, but the Air Force doesn't have a set amount like other branches. I busted my ass going through our chain of command (we work in the same unit) to get some support from him; he lied about sending me 400 dollars and is trying to delay the divorce and child support as long as possible.
I got sick of it and refiled and served him with a complaint as well as a pre decree motion for relief.
Here are my questions:
In Hawaii, is BAH included in the gross pay for child support? Is it based upon the judge's discretion and personal opinion on the matter?
Also-he was married before me and had two kids with her. One month ago during the whole chain-of-command-child-support battle he "just found out" he has a FOURTH kid with a THIRD woman. I was informed that he didn't know sooner because the woman didn't want anything to do with him (I'm not surprised there). I also found out that she doesn't even want child support from him, just wants his rights to the kid so she never has to see him.
In the child support form I submitted, I included an exceptional circumstances form due to the TWO sons that I know for a fact he pays child support for. He is NOT paying child support for this mysterious fourth child and won't be anytime soon, yet he is convinced that when we go to our hearing in two weeks that he can tell the judge he has this fourth child and my support will be lowered.
My assumption is that since he is not paying her child support, it is irrelevant to my case. Is this true? Or can my support be lowered because of this child even though he isn't paying her support?
When I served him he got pissed and is now going for blood, tellin me he's going to have witnesses submit statements claiming I'm an unfit mother. I've had my son 2 months and he's never even seen him or asked to see him. Will that make a difference?
I'd appreciate a response, this [censored] is making me go crazy wondering about it.
Edited by shekicksass007 (03/24/11 02:13 PM)
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BeckaLeigh32
member
Reged: 03/15/11
Posts: 119
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If he is going to claim you are an unfit mother, the burden of proof is going to be on him.
As for your other question, it would depend on your state. When I went to court with my X over CS, the judge subtracted what he was supposed to pay the first mom, even though he was not paying it and hadn't in more than a year prior to our order being entered. The child that he has subsequent to our 2 doesn't count in our CS. Ours was calculated in before their amount was decided on, though.
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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I think he would have to provide an order showing he is suppossed to pay support for the mystery child. Since there isn't one they can't count it. I know in my state it has nothing to do with which children are older it goes by the time of filing. If the other mom hasn't filed anything then they won't count it at this point.
Just for the record it's been less than 2 months since you filed. That is not an unreasonable time frame. More than likely you will be awarded child support back to the time of filing. I don't know of any state that will grant a divorce while the wife is pregnant so that's not unusual either. There isn't much you can do but wait it out.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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Becka, even though he wasn't paying he had an order right? I think that's where the difference is.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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shekicksass007
recently joined
Reged: 03/24/11
Posts: 8
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I know it's about proof and he has nothing, but it's still irritating to hear such things said about me coming from someone who doesn't want anything to do with his son. @ Debi I know it's been two months but he's been stringing me along since my son was born. He said he would be filing it and kept lying about it to keep me thinking he was doing it so I wouldnt do it, basically delaying the divorce and child support. I've also been told some states don't do back child support.
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debra9591
newbie
Reged: 01/23/11
Posts: 49
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North Carolina does not do back child support and they are taking there sweet ass time even getting an order in place although my stbx actually went ito the office so it could start being taken. They gave him an appointment for a month later.
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BeckaLeigh32
member
Reged: 03/15/11
Posts: 119
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Yes, Debi, he had a prior order.
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