Jeanne1978
journeyman
Reged: 12/20/10
Posts: 56
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Dad is the NCP with EOW custody. Mom viloates the court order every chance she gets and is clearly attempting to alienate Dad. Daughter, age 12, is now refusing to come to visits. Dad hasn't seen daughter since Feb. Son, 9, still comes for regulary visits.
Dad filed for full custody two years ago, mainly based on the inability of Mom to co-parent, follow a custody order, foster a relationship between dad and kids, withholding custody , etc. the case is still in court. They are waiting for a trial date, which as been postponed quite a few times.
The case is in a county in PA which very much favors Moms. To date, they have pretty let mom do whatever she wants, just keep changing custody order which she continues to viloate and makes her give dad make-up time for the withholding of custody.
Mom is saying that daughter refuses to come because step-mom is evil and dad lets step-mom rule the house. daughter also says she hates her 3 year old half brother because he is spoiled and allowed to do whatever he wants (when you talk to daughter you can tell she is very immature). we think mom is banking on daughter to talk to judge and tell judge she doesn't want to visit with dad anymore and since she is 12 judge will listen...this is what mom thinks anyway. FYI: mom is undiagnosed narcassist.
There is court ordered counseling for the family but mom refuses to make herself or the kids available. there was only 2 sessions, one with kids and last session was in aug.
Anybody know what, if anything, may happen here? Will they just slap her on the wrist again? Would Judge even consider giving Dad full custody? If so, how would that even work since daughter is so turned against Dad and step-mom and half-brother now? I mean, it would be tramatic for daughter to be foreced to live with Dad at this point because she so hates it there. Does anybody have experience with this? Would there be a phasing in process to get daughter used to going to dad's again or what?....
on the other hand, what are the chances that the judge is going to just let this all go saying the daughter is 12 now and doesn't need to see dad if she doesn't want to. ?
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JimA999
newbie
Reged: 06/03/10
Posts: 30
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What county in PA
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Jeanne1978
journeyman
Reged: 12/20/10
Posts: 56
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allegheny
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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The whole, "Kids get to choose at 12" is a fallacy, except in ONE state (I believe its Georgia).
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Jeanne1978
journeyman
Reged: 12/20/10
Posts: 56
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that's what was thinking and hoping. the judge they have is not so nice, though. the last time they were in dad's lawyer was asking for a 2 day trial because of all the evidence he has and judge said she is only going to give them a 1/2 day trial because it is just a "case of the parents not being able to get along"! Meanwhile, Dad hasn't seen daughter in 3 months!...on top of Mom violating almmost every other part of the order as well.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Can Dad have lunch with DD at school or participate in other ways with her like go to soccer games? It would really help to maintain the relationship.
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Jeanne1978
journeyman
Reged: 12/20/10
Posts: 56
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you are right and that is a good idea.
The problem is dad works 9-5 or 6 during the week so any school-day activity is not possible, even if Dad got the notices in time which he does not. Daughter does participate in many activities that dad pays for in his child support but mom doesn't give dad any of the info or gives it to him late...for example he just got daughter's dance info which started over a month ago and is now almost over plus mom only sent the main schedule never said which class she is actually in. Also, even though he is supposed to have daily phone contact, he calls every day and they never call him back..he is lucky if he talks to them once a week. And when he does daughter is usually not available or gets on the phone just to tell him that she can't talk or that she is not coming for the weekend.
on top of all that, when he does attend the activities, mom and step-dad cause such major scenes that police need to be called; its just awful for the kids to have all four parents together in one place.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Many people work 8:5 and make time to go to their kids activities. The activities are generally public (on the school or activity website). He can contact teachers over e-mail to ask how his DD is doing. He can volunteer to go on field trips as a chaparone.
Who called the police and why? Can't he ignore the other parent?
It depends on how much effort he wants to go to.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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Take the judge out of the equation. First of all, if Dad has not seen the child for THREE MONTHS, and your lawyer was not ALL OVER the judge, get a new lawyer.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Jeanne1978
journeyman
Reged: 12/20/10
Posts: 56
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the county we are in is ridiculous. the judge only hears motions once a month and then it takes months to even get a date for the hearing. they had their last date for trial at the end of january and mom told her lawyer that she was ready to settle and did not want to do the trial so when they get there judge cancels the trial and does another mediation. of course mom backs out and offers diddley squat and so they are supposed to be getting a new trial date. again that was the end of jan and the lawyer says they are still waiting for the judge to tell them a new date for the re-scheduled trial. yeah, it's ridiculous!
he is presenting a motion this week for contempt...lawyer was already booked last month when the judge was hearing motions so they had to wait until now to present it.
i was hoping someone could answer my question about what to expect from the judge
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