january1975
recently joined
Reged: 06/30/11
Posts: 6
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Divrce final in 2000: children are nw 14 and 16: ex was served a summons to submit financials.
I knw his incme has increased alot, he wrks in the oil field overseas..(nigeria)
In all these years I've never asked for a review for a number of reasons.
(He's verbally abusive and I always end up feeling worthless after any convos about money.)
Anyway..going thru a rough patch financially and requested a review and of course the poop hit the fan!!
I have no idea how much he makes and honestly...I don't care.
We share custody and he has access to his children at all times. They do spend a majority of their time with him when he is home for his 23 day rotation.
Here is my situation:
Received a phone call from him telling me he just left his lawyer. Either we can go to court and HE will have to spend alot of money on a lawyer...or I can give him a number of how much more money I want a month. We can then negotiate from there.
I think he wants to avoid giving up his financials..I recently found out he has bought several townhomes and was even more upset I found out.
He also has a vacation home out of state that he goes to every weekend. I just want what is fair for my kids.
Just curious what you would do in my situation.
He currently pays 750.00
I have primary custody
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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How much do you spend a month on them? Is it more than $750?
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2003
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Since your ex is willing to pay more, sit down and determine what you need for the kids and then ask for more. And negotiate down to what you need.
If the two of you can't come to an agreement, then it's off to court. Where he will be ordered to provide his financial information.
And if the two of you come to an agreement, before you sign it and file it with the courts for a judge to sign off on, you should have your own attorney look it over.
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9815
Loc: Arkansas
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You currently receive $750 per month and they spend a majority of their time with him on his 23 day rotation (I assume that means works 23 days and is home 23 days). That means you're getting $750 a month for 50/50 custody which is a lot of money IMO.
I remember when my SD's mother filed for an increase; the letter came to my husband out of the blue with no mention of it by mom (he has never verbally abused her, she had no reason not to mention it). If you did the same, I can see how he'd respond how he did and I also don't see any reason not to consider negotiations with him.
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7783
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Honestly, it doesn't matter why you haven't asked for an increase. You are legally allowed to in many states every three years. So you can let it run it's course legally or you can attempt to do it out of court. If you have a number in mind, hand it over. If you can't work something out, let it go legally.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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It is fine to ask for an increase. Nothing wrong with it at all.
Remember, his attorney works for him.
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hanzblinx
enthusiast
Reged: 08/13/10
Posts: 380
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"Anyway..going thru a rough patch financially"
Not sure why that is his problem. Sounds like you have 4 years left to be dependent on him. I suggest you get your financial situation in order before 4 years runs out. Sounds like you're the one with poop hitting the fan, not him.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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I would run your numbers and see what you think is fair for him to pay. Don't forget to include YOUR share as you should be supplying your own financial obligation to the children you both share.
Anything over that would just be cushioning your own lifestyle or what you may need. If there is still some extra in there maybe he wouldn't mind setting up an account for the children's college?
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sussann
recently joined
Reged: 07/09/11
Posts: 2
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First, do not allow any sort of emotional abuse to occur between the two of you. He is not allowed to call you on the phone and harrass you. He is also not allowed to threaten you in a way that you avoid taking him back to court. As in, "We can do this, but you will spend a ton on a lawyer...you can't afford it and I will probably win anyway! Just leave it alone, loser!!". Go to court and determine what is fair. Most states allow you to represent yourself, you can try legal aid, or you can request that the court order him to pay your legal expenses if you prevail.
[censored]://susiead.blogspot.com/2011/07/broken-child-support-system.html
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Trying to increase your blog hits? You've thrown this blog out there a couple of times.
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