Tandksmommy11
recently joined
Reged: 07/13/11
Posts: 3
|
|
I feel bad even writing this because I know that so many of you are going through hell with child custody. I'm really very fortunate.
My husband and I will be divorcing and we have 2 children together. I do not wish to go through the court for child support, as we have agreed on what he will pay and if there were ever a problem, I always have the ability to go to court if needed. We really want to keep the courts out of this as much as possible. I'm getting much more then I am entitled to from him as we are both very civil with each other (he's allowing me to use 1 of his vehicles, paying the insurance, paying for the cell bill, and $125 a week in CS). My issue is child custody.
My husband suffers from PTSD which is unpredictable. He's not dangerous or anything like that, but it does leave a smidge of distrust if he's ever having an "episode" that he might do something stupid.
That said, I'd like to have something in writing as far as child custody goes. We've both agreed that the children will live with me, and he will have visitation (he's moving just down the street so he can see them any time they are home before he goes to work). We have a holiday schedule already decided, as well as vacations and the like. He works a variable schedule so visitation during weekends and during the week is hard to nail down.
Would having an agreement written up and signed by the both of us in front of a notary, serve as a legally binding document in the event he ever tried to take them for longer then agreed? Basically in case he ever tried to kidnap them? Or do we need to go through court for this type of thing?
|
Tweeby
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/05/04
Posts: 7100
|
|
From my understanding, the courts LIKE it when the parents make the decisions and they just have to sign to make it a a CO. Make sure if follows the laws in your State.
|
ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
|
|
You would need to have the agreement filed in court, usually there is a small fee for it. If it's just an agreement, then it may not hold up later and either of you could pursue it with the court later.
|
Tandksmommy11
recently joined
Reged: 07/13/11
Posts: 3
|
|
If I called the courthouse, would they be able to direct me on how to do this to get it CO'ed, or do I need to contact a lawyer to take care of that and get the information?
|
ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
|
|
Yes the courthouse would likely be able to help you if they have someone available for that. If not sometimes they have self hlep books that guide you through the process. I'm not sure where you are and every state, even every county, handle things a little differently.
|
annatof4
member
Reged: 07/13/11
Posts: 125
|
|
In my state, When my divorce was in the beginning process, we made up a parenting plan agreement, signed it in front of a notary and filed it with the courts. It is just as good as any other parenting plan that the attorney files.
There are no promises with any agreements whether written out by you or a attorney are followed. If there comes a time that it is not followed, you can always involve the courts and file a motion to modify custody, child support and/or parenting time. Keep in mind that the courts (judge) will not be happy about you filing a motion for petty things. Like "he was to drop them off at 8 and dropped them off at 9".
For any state, you do not need a attorney to file a motion, hence Pro Se. It would be best to seek their advice before doing so. Each state will have specific forms and procedures.
|
Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20058
|
|
"Would having an agreement written up and signed by the both of us in front of a notary, serve as a legally binding document in the event he ever tried to take them for longer then agreed? Basically in case he ever tried to kidnap them? Or do we need to go through court for this type of thing? "
Maybe this varies from state to state, but in mine, I could not do a divorce without addressing child custody since we had joint children. My entire divorce decree consisted of papers I drew up... took them to a lawyer and told him to make them legal... ex signed off, the judge signed off, and that was that. Years later, ex and I temporarily changed some things... not through the courts, only between us, signed and notarized. I did briefly consult a lawyer at the time and was told that it was easier and faster to enforce a court order as opposed to an out of court agreement... for what we were doing, I was okay taking that risk. While you may not "need" a lawyer, it may be worth the peace of mind to at least consult one... most here will do an initial consult for free. The cost of my divorce from start to finish was under a thousand dollars... and I never set foot in a court room for it.
|
cincsu
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4686
Loc: residence in AZ, case in CA
|
|
the court could consider it as far as having status quo, but they would not hold him in contempt if he did something since there is no order.
regardless of what you all agree to (AND A HUGE CONGRATS ON BEING ABLE TO DO THAT!!!) i'd always put it in writing, called a stipulation, and have the court sign off on it.
this is protection for YOU and HIM....
--------------------
wife of 1, mother of 2, stepmother of .3475902453
|
bpress
recently joined
Reged: 07/20/11
Posts: 1
|
|
you should definitely get something in writing and file it with the court. It has nothing to do with your husband but more to do with protecting your children. That's the first priority. Better to have an agreement on file.
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
