concernedfather2
newbie
Reged: 08/13/11
Posts: 33
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I re-read over my court order and found out that my ex DOES NOT need MY permission to move 1300 miles away with our daughter because she has sole physical and sole legal custody. Her lawyer is basically going to court to ask for a modification of parenting time in her change of domicile case next month. Im so worried i dont want to lose my daughter i just started getting to know her. Any advice?
Edited by concernedfather2 (08/16/11 10:27 AM)
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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First off, calm down. Nothing is lost, until it is lost. You NEED a lawyer. Sole physical and legal custody does NOT necessarily mean she can move where she wants to.
However, a move is not the end of the world either. IF she moves, you will be permitted LONGER periods of uninterupted parenting time (ie, all summer, spring break, long weekends, etc). She SHOULD be made to pay for ALL transportation costs.
Now, YOU need to stop doing EXACTLY what they want you to do. They are coming in like gang busters in order to scare you into acting like you are right now. They have convinced you there is NOTHING you can do.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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concernedfather2
newbie
Reged: 08/13/11
Posts: 33
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i cant afford a lawyer i didnt even know SHE had a lawyer until i called to ask the clerk because my EX didnt tell ME she told a mutual friend of ours.
i received a parenting time modification in the mail with the copy of her lawyers additions to the case. And they are wanting to give me this:
One (1) week of visitation to include Easter for spring break on ODD NUMBERED YEARS. Even years are to be spent with mother.
Two (2) weeks during summer break. Non-custodial parent must request his choice annually by May 1st. Non-custodial parent has 1st choice an ODD NUMBERED YEARS, Custodial parent has right to request certain holidays or other dates on EVEN NUMBERED YEARS for child to be home. But will still make it work for child to see Non-custodial parent on those years.
One (1) week during winter break every year. This week shall include Christmas on ODD NUMBERED YEARS. Christmas is to be spent with custodial parent on EVEN NUMBERED YEARS.
Weekly Skype calls on Wednesday 6p-630p, as long as child wants to be on the phone. Father can also call two (2) other nights per week for no longer than 15 minutes. At an agreed upon time and day. Mother will also have same phone/Skype schedule when child is visiting father.
TRANSPORTATION: custodial parent pays for airfare every other scheduled visit but father MUST pay for and chaperone her travel every visit.
ADDITIONAL: Also can have additional weekend’s local to child with pre-approval at least one (1) month prior.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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That's about the most poorly worded "legal" thing I've read in a while. My guess is she doesn't have a very GOOD lawyer.
So, if you can't hire an attorney, file your own response. Challenge the move, giving your reasons. What state are you? What are the laws regarding moves? Just because she has legal custody doesn't automatically mean she "can" move unless the state law allows that. Need more information.
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concernedfather2
newbie
Reged: 08/13/11
Posts: 33
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thats not the actual one from her lawyer thats the copy my ex sent me in an email that i just copied and pasted on here. Our court order only says COURT PERMISSION. It has nothing in it about me. How can i file a response? How can i challenge the move. All i have and can say is i dont want her to move because i want a relationship with my daughter. Im afraid i'll get laughed at because she's 5yrs old and i waited so long. I just couldnt AFFORD a kid, i wanted to get a job and provide for her. Now that i have a wife and kids i want to do that now. She's my daughter and i love her.
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LexieBelle
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Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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I'm confused...
So...
The child is 5. Up to this point you've supported her financially to what extent? You've seen her to what extent?
Sounds like, if I read right, you didn't do EITHER but NOW now that she's moving, and now you have a wife and MORE kids, NOW she's important?
If that is the case? At least speaking from my own experience? Which involved a move. YOu probably won't get a lot of sympathy from the court if you're just NOW stepping up and because she's moving. The phrase "a day late and a dollar short" rings a bell. My case never went to trial, I settled with my ex without trial and I'm sure he made out MUCH better with me direct than he would have with the judge. I would recommend coming up with a schedule that's more liberal than what she's offered and countering her with that, through her attorney, thorugh a motion in the court seeking to block the move. Whatever. I think your chances in court? To stop the move? Are negligible at best if what I'm reading in what you wrote is true.
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gr8Dad
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Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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Okay, you screwed up bad virtually abandoned your daughter. Bad move, but I assume you know that at this point, no sense harping on it, you are here NOW, and you want to establish a relationship. Lets address the points one by one:
"One (1) week of visitation to include Easter for spring break on ODD NUMBERED YEARS. Even years are to be spent with mother."
BS, you get EVERY spring break.
"Two (2) weeks during summer break. Non-custodial parent must request his choice annually by May 1st. Non-custodial parent has 1st choice an ODD NUMBERED YEARS, Custodial parent has right to request certain holidays or other dates on EVEN NUMBERED YEARS for child to be home. But will still make it work for child to see Non-custodial parent on those years."
Okay, this is less than STANDARD summer parenting time for LOCAL parents. No WAY I would accept that. Four weeks MINIMUM, you get first pick EVERY year.
"One (1) week during winter break every year. This week shall include Christmas on ODD NUMBERED YEARS. Christmas is to be spent with custodial parent on EVEN NUMBERED YEARS."
This one is fair.
"TRANSPORTATION: custodial parent pays for airfare every other scheduled visit but father MUST pay for and chaperone her travel every visit."
My ASS. She wants to move, and she exects YOU to pay for transportation every other visit, AND for chaperoning EVERY visit? No way in HELL. SHE pays for ALL transportation, and SHE can arrange transport chaparone. You shouldn't have to PAY to see your child cause Mommy wants to move.
"ADDITIONAL: Also can have additional weekend’s local to child with pre-approval at least one (1) month prior."
"pre-approval" is too vague. Under that, she can simply say, "I don't approve", and you are out of luck.
Here is the deal. You NEED a lawyer. Doesn't matter what you can or cannot afford, you can't afford to NOT have a lawyer. Beg borrow and STEAL to get the funds and hire a GOOD lawyer (probably gonna need a retainer of at LEAST $5000).
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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concernedfather2
newbie
Reged: 08/13/11
Posts: 33
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i was never in the same state with her. I just came back to washington where we use to stay together. And ive been trying to get to know my daughter. I use to text my ex, facebook her, and email her asking about pictures an asking about how she was. I sent her a gift on her 1st christmas but thats all i could afford. I pay $112 in child support and she has clothes at my house, a new bed here. If only her mother would allow her to come over she would be very financially taken care of. I just want to get to know my daughter and when her mother moves i cant do that. What can i do?
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concernedfather2
newbie
Reged: 08/13/11
Posts: 33
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i really cant afford it. My wife would FLIP if i even worked EVERYDAY to try to afford one. I cant make that happen in 3 weeks when our court date is. I am going to have to go so low. I wish i would have found out my ex had a lawyer before now. Will the judge even here me out?
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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Well, there ya go, got my answer, you aren't even willing to TRY. SO do what you did 5 years ago, walk away, and leave the child alone. She is probably better off with Mom anyway.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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