c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1753
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
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This past (Labor Day) weekend I had DS. Because of nearby wildfires and they're using his HS as an evacuation center, HIS school was cancelled for today.
So I left DS asleep @ my house & went on to work. He got up about 1:30, ate something, packed up his stuff and rode his bike to Dad's house 1 mile away.
Dad was mad because *I* was *SUPPOSED* to wake DS up when I went to work and bring him over to Dad's house since he didn't have school and Exhole has custody. Ok, right. I'm going to wake DS up @ 6AM just so he can spend the day at YOUR house instead of mine. BAER!!
The man takes 'control freak' to a whole new level. I told him put it on his list of things to bring up @ the next mod hearing.
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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1410
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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well he could look at it as you are the control freak by not sending the child home when he was suppose to be without asking if it was ok for son to stay and sleep in - you took "control" of the situation when it was not your turn to be in "control."
Do I think it was reasonable for you ds to stay and sleep in - yes but it was not your time so you needed to clear it with Dad first - you know DAD ----- THE CUSTODIAL PARENT.
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javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3154
Loc: SC
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Q: Why wouldn't you wake the kid up and take him home?
A: Because the longer the kid is at YOUR house when 'exhole' is the one who has custody, the more you can give 'exhole' the proverbial finger.
Save your 'I don't get why he's ticked off' act. You set him up to be pissed off and you know it. At least be honest enough to admit you try to live up to your signature.
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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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You were wrong, wrong, wrong. If he was supposed to be at Dad's house, then that is where is should have been unless you have permission to do otherwise.
Did I mention you were wrong?
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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Agreed, if he was supposed to be at dad's, he should have been at dad's. Unless permission was requested. YES, that is what you were SUPPOSED to do. You don't have the right to arbitrarily decide. You were wrong, your ex has every right to be pissed.
Further, why is this kid sleeping in til 1:30 in the afternoon??
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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Maybe something to consider in the future, even if the behavior is not reciprocated, is to inform the other parent the situation and allow them to make the call on their time. I'm sure you'd prefer your ex didn't make decisions on what you consider your time. I think it is definitely something to mention at the next mod hearing. Are those frequent? You both exhibit some pretty controlling behavior. Have you considered that your hatred for each other may spill into the life of your son, from both of you. At his age, every tone, look, or even silent stare is an indicator of your relationship. I try to be very conscious when I am with SD of what I say, how it's said, how my body language is while I'm talking, etc.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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Not sure if it was clear whose time it was... he was supposed to be in school, except that it was cancelled because of the wildfires. I doubt a scenario like that is addressed in the CO, or at least mine doesn't address "acts of God". If the court order spells it out and he should have been at dad's, different story, but this sounds like a gray area.
Was dad home, could he have spent time with ds? If not, I'm not sure it matters which empty house he stayed at... but because of your relationship with ex, I think a phone call would have been in order to go over the plan... doesn't sound like dad was too concerned at the time though, the kid slept in until 1:30, dad could have called him to get him out of bed when he realized that ds wasn't there when dad thought he should be.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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Her time ends when the child goes to school.. if the child was NOT going to school, then child reverts back to dad. It doesn't need to be spelled out, unless one is just being an ass.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"Her time ends when the child goes to school.. if the child was NOT going to school, then child reverts back to dad. It doesn't need to be spelled out, unless one is just being an ass."
Even assuming this is correct... why did dad not call the kid earlier and tell him it was time to get up and go to dad's? He chose to let him stay and make an issue out of it after the fact, instead of addressing it when he noticed it. Had he been proactive in asserting his time from the start, instead of reactive by whining about it when it was too late to change it, I'd feel differently.
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c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1753
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
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First, I didn't even THINK about it. REALLY. It never crossed my mind. What would Dad care? -- he was @ work. Ds stays up late and sleeps in. Just like summer. I really don't care he sleeps till 12, 1:30 or even later. I didn't leave him anything to do. All teenagers around here do it. He does it @ Dad's too.
IF Dad wanted/required DS to be @ his house why didn't he call me/DS? Why, if DS wasn't @ his house by 6:30, didn't he call DS, wake him up, and tell him to get to his house? Hmmmmm? Why make a big deal out of it after the fact? DS HAS a cell phone glued to his body. Exhole could have called him ANYTIME & told him he wanted him home. He waited until AFTER I GOT HOME to call and BIOTCH me out. I refuse to get drawn into his little games.
And SHERRON was typing at the same time. My thoughts exactly.
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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
Edited by c_jane (09/07/11 09:54 AM)
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