Anything4Love
journeyman
Reged: 10/09/11
Posts: 60
Loc: Virginia
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My stbx husband and I, who are at the moment still under the same roof and planning to sign a separation agreement but haven't yet, were both served separately with court papers for "pendente lite emergency custody" by his father.
He is filing for custody of all 4 of my children, 2 he is related to by blood and 2 he is not (who are also 13 years old and want to stay with me. My husband raised them for many years but never adopted them).
The document is riddled with spelling and grammar errors. Would I be mistaken to think this means his lawyer is incompetent? I hope so because we are very frightened. He didn't even spell the names right of 2 of the children (and yet he's so "close" to them he deserves custody?!) In places the document will refer to a boy as "her" or a non-blood relation as a blood relation, as examples of the mistakes, in addition to the name misspellings. He also refers to my 2 older children as previously adopted by someone not a party to this and that is not the case.
The other issue is that he is making accusations about me, who I am or was going to live with (although, right now, I am still with my stbx husband), lies about that person, and lies about how I supposedly will conduct myself in the future - and they are things I would NEVER DO.
My own dad thinks we have a legitimate countersuit for harassment although he only has limited legal training. This man has put us under severe emotional distress.
Is his speculation, and possible witness to the character of the person he SAYS I was going to move in with (who she is lying about) going to get him anywhere? And is anyone going to listen to his slandering me when I say it is not true? And are all the errors a sign of the incompetence of his lawyer? Can 2 of the childrens' names being spelled wrong go against him?
We are in an absolute panic. We can't afford an attorney and are awaiting determination whether legal aid will help us or not. We are in Virginia. Thanks to anyone who can give advice.
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1410
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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Actually the misspellings are probably the work of the lawyers secretary or whomever he has draw up the papers and the attorney needs a new secretary.
Your fil is pi$$ing up a tree unless you all are beating the children or sticking needles in your arms or living in filth and neglect he's wasting time and money - he is scaring you and he may think that he can get you to agree to something so you don't have to go to court - don't let him do this to your nerves - try to go about life as normally as possible.
Interesting that it is not a "3rd Party Custody" filing and he doesn't have anything to make it an emergency - by all rights he should be admonished by the courts - get an attorney and ask the court for attorney's fees - I am lost on why a lawyer would even take this on given what you have said - it is ridiculous.
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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How can your FIL file a motion or petition when there isn't an underlying case yet? It's preposterous. Even if the judge doesn't dismiss it out of hand, IME there is no chance your FIL will prevail. File an answer to deny the motion and counterclaim (or file your own motion) for attorney fees. This is the kind of case where you may get attorney fees.
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javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3155
Loc: SC
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Sounds to me like your FIL went to a do-it-yourself website, pulled down a couple of examples and filled out the paperwork himself. Like Annieo said, a lawyer even taking his 'case' is out in left field. He apparently can't accept he has NO CONTROL over the situation and is making an ass of himself in the process.
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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
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Anything4Love
journeyman
Reged: 10/09/11
Posts: 60
Loc: Virginia
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UPDATE: Legal Aid in my local area has told us that they will only provide a consultation, NOT appear in court or file any paperwork. I was told they only do that in the case of domestic violence. Now I realize why this jerk thinks he's going to win - he knows we can't afford to pay a lawyer and frankly no matter how weak his case is if NO lawyer represents us at the hearing I'm worried we're in big trouble, even if his lawyer is incompetent.
I can't believe he's doing this to us. Even if I had the money for a lawyer it would be much better spent on the children!
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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Stay calm and keep your wits about you.
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KristinH82
recently joined
Reged: 10/17/11
Posts: 10
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[quote]Stay calm and keep your wits about you. [/quote]
excellent advice, truly.
you can't let him get the best of you nor can you exhibit any behaviors in court that might make you look unstable. calm, cool, collected is what you need to appear to be even if you think your head might explode.
remember- judges see allegations like this thrown around court on.the.regular. and dont throw your own allegations at him either- it will only make you look crazy. (and believe me, he will look insane for the allegations hes made as well!)
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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Beg or borrow the money for an attorney - this is too important to leave to chance.
My SIL lost everytime he was in court until he got an attorney. Then, he started winning - not much but at least she was on the losing end for a change. And, he got attorney fees.
Make sure that you ask for attorney fees.
Just remember, the courts will not approve of him using a "she might do this or that" scenario. They will shoot him right down.
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Anything4Love
journeyman
Reged: 10/09/11
Posts: 60
Loc: Virginia
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Thank you all for your comments. I frantically called around until I found an attorney whose retainer I could afford and finally found one, so we will be represented in court. Our attorney is also seeking to have our attorney fees reimbursed by the f.i.l., and he says the case is frivilous and it is likely to be thrown out and our fees reimbursed. Then hopefully my stbx and I can get back to the business of working on our own amicable agreement without the interference of this bully.
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