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Jaklackus
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Reged: 11/21/11
Posts: 1
What else can I do at this point?
      #768608 - 11/21/11 01:39 PM

I am so frustrated. After 10 years of financial, mental, sexual and sometimes physical abuse I finally asked for a divorce at the end of August. He had already been involved with another woman and just moved in with her along with his adult son from his first marriage. I immediately applied for assistance and received medicaid and foodstamps but was denied cash assistance because I had a part time work at home job that I was averaging $500 a month.

He is self employed and is letting the business fail and filing bankruptcy when the divorce is final...in 2008, 2009 and 2010 he was making 250k...and even after business expenses we were still paying taxes on 100k. Since the end of Aug he has provided about $500 in support total...$25 here,half of an electric bill there..the last time he gave me anything was mid October...$100 transferred into our joint checking account...'after' I had moved out of the marital home. In the interim I was released from my part time job even with a high rating along with several other independent contractors, bringing my income to zero. In October he refused to pay any of the electric bill($500-FL) for the marital home where myself and the children still lived, the children and I were forced to move in with my mom, after the last load of stuff from the house was unloaded my husband took the keys to my minivan(titled to him..of course) and left me with no transportation in a rural area(the vehicle has since been totaled while in his possession)

I immediately applied for legal aid ...but I am 2 months in and there was been no order for temporary support. I was a SAHM for most of 9 years I had one job in 2008 for 5 months in which I was forced to quit, and any interview I have managed to get since has been sabotaged by him...i.e. he made sure he drove me to the interview...verbally tore me apart during the drive so I was a wreck during the interview.

I have started therapy at the domestic abuse organization, but I never pressed charges. Back in February there was an especially brutal attack while I was sleeping I woke up as he held a pillow over my face and was raping me...I packed a 'go' bag and made a anonymous call to the local battered women's shelter, and posted an anonymous cry for help on an internet forum...but in the end I was afraid to be left without support, and felt the kids would be more damaged if their father was charged with rape and attempted murder. Several other less violent rapes occurred...one the night before I asked for the divorce. He told me on the day I asked for the divorce that if he "couldn't inflict pain onto me, the marriage wasn't worth saving, it was just a part of who he was", a woman contacted me on facebook soon after the separation claiming that while I was dating him he would meet up with her before hand and beat her up to get it out of his system.

Today he is asking for primary custody(where was he for the last 9+ years?) And threatening me..telling me to be fair to him or else...

He carries a gun, he hangs out with motorcycle gang members...he's got lots of friends in low places.

The GF is mentally ill, a cutter and is advertising on kink web sites for a 'sister slave' using pictures of herself and my abusive ex on the profiles with a listing of all of the kinks they are into... .

It took me a long time to recognize the things he did as abuse, even longer to admit that I allowed him to abuse me, now I live in fear and am afraid to press charges in fear that it would look vindictive in divorce court.

I stupidly thought the abuse would end once he was out of the house....it continues and I feel helpless and in limbo while wait for legal aid.


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