Char9
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2941
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I keep thinking about SD and the situation she is in. I am so angry at both of them, her and her H. He has stopped his auto deposit and is not paying any of the bills; mortgage or otherwise. I do not know what bills sd is paying. I'm on the outside looking in and I'm resenting the girls (yes both of them) for their poor decision making and lack of common sense. They have no concept of sacrafice, no concept of being responsible adults (again outside looking in). Jealous? Yes, but mainly angry at their parents for their poor parenting and lack of intervention to teach them right from wrong and how to be an adult. Not to mention, what the constant purchase of expensive toys, etc is sending messages to their own kids. That no matter what, they too will never know how to sacrafice or learn how to do without when their parents can't afford it. The skids don't know how to say no, or to teach their kids that they need to do without. Perfect example, the WII for oldes GS. WTF??? is sd thinking??? She's not paying the mortgage, and she's worried about buying a game console? How about keeping a friggin roof over your kid's head? Or do they think the WII will do that for them? Seriously, I am beginning to think I can't be around them for fear that I will just blast them all to hell with what I think and feel. I told H that I will have to limit my interactions with them until I can learn to handle being around them. They make me angry, and I resent their attitudes. Yes, that's the truth folks. I'm finally being honest.......
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1409
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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I was floored when I read about the WII in the previous post - those are expensive - the unit it 200 but games and accessories are an additional expense.
You (imo) should let them have it - no one else is - they need a wake up call.
We currently rent a house from my in-laws but we know if the rent isn't paid we are out just like the next guy and our rent is the same as the other (same house) rental property is - we do not get a discount - its business. A lower rent would really help us out but because of the foreclosure we are lucky to even have a place to live given our credit score sucks from losing the house - your sd might want to think about that if they lose the house - another rental may not be right around the corner - it is hard to get something after a foreclosure - even an apartment was a no go.
Tell them how you feel - let the cards fall where they may and you may just feel better - at least your being honest when you tell them how you feel and maybe it will help your stress level...
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spinnerdegrassi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/20/06
Posts: 7947
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You're angry because it's going to cost you personally from a financial perspective because your husband is going to spend the rest of his life bailing his idiot daughters out till he dies. Face it....they're morons and they're too lazy to learn, and it's easier to beg daddy for $$$$, thus affecting your financial means as a couple.
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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You can only blame the parents for so long. These are aduts who make their own decisions now and need to own those decisions.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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Char9
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2941
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That's what I'm angry about, that they are making these STUPID decisions and no-one is even calling them on it.
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Char9
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2941
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Daddy is NOT going to bail them out of it this time. If he even TRIES to give her money after hearing what she's spent on the WII and not paying her mortgage, I'll walk. I'm not going to keep letting their choices affect my health any longer. H knows I'm pissed about this whole thing, but still can't understand why I keep dwelling on it. Why? I ask myself that every day. LOL. They will sink or swim, I'm not going to feel sorry for them anymore.
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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What good is it going to do for anyone to call them on it, Char? These kids have chosen not to accept responsibility for anything they have done in their lives, why should they start now? Eventually, they will realize their mistakes, I hope, until then, don't let it eat you up cuz apparently you are the only one really concerned right now.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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Char strikes me as the kind of person who would help a stranger with her last $20 if they truly needed it. I don't think this has anything to do with her being worried about $$. I think it has to do with kids she has been involved with for years making stupid decisions repeatedly.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3028
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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I agree, BL.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3028
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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Char? Their choices shouldn't be affecting your health -- if they are, then you do need to distance yourself from it.
AFTER you say your piece. Kids don't have the experience that we do to stand back from a situation and see it for what it is -- they don't want to see their decisions as poor ones. I see the Wii as a desperate attempt by this kid's mom to keep things **normal** It's not going to work but I think that's her motive. Been there, as have we all at some point in our lives.
IMHO? You need to spell out to your DH what is acceptable to YOU in this situation. In other words, in your shoes? I'd be making it crystal clear that if he hands them, gives them or bails them out with money in any way, shape or form, I'm OUT of there. Permanently. While I realize that this is his daughter, if you don't want them living with you? You need to SAY SO as opposed to seething with resentment over a situation that you haven't told him that you won't tolerate.
I think it's time for YOU to take your stand, dig your heels in and not bend on this. Just my 2 cents worth. It's what I'd do --
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