static3576
recently joined
Reged: 02/04/12
Posts: 5
Loc: Arkansas
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Hello everyone, first time on here. I am in a rough spot right now. My ex-wife does not believe I deserve joint custody. I worked 2 jobs until today just to half way support my kids when I had them. She is telling me to sign over custody to her because I do not parent them enough, as in picking them up form school or taking them to school, or I am not as thorough with their homework as she is. She does not work cause she lives with someone and does not have to worry about working to pay for the home or bills. I tell her I try but I am not in her situation and I try the best I can. I stay in trouble cause she feels I do not support them financially enough for joint custody, I do not make enough to pay my bills right now and have told her this. She has came back 3 times in these 8 months. My question to the community is do I need to fight her on joint custody or just bow out and sign over my rights.
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MrsB
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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Why on earth would you sign away your rights? Joint custody or not - you are still your children's father. That thought shouldn't even cross your mind.
How long have you been divorced? Does she already have sole custody and you want joint now, or are you just now going through the process? Why did she get sole custody? How often do you have your kids and why can't you take them to school etc? Is it because of your two jobs? (sorry so many questions! Just trying to get the full story!).
Do you pay child support?
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static3576
recently joined
Reged: 02/04/12
Posts: 5
Loc: Arkansas
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I was reading other post and decided to add some things. my ex-wife is primary custodian in the divorce, cause I worked out of state at the time and was gone for 30 days at a time. She tells me she has final say so in every thing regardless what I say when it comes to the children. I am supposed to raise the kids like she wishes in my home and follow her rules. For the most part I do follow most but some I do not. I carry the medical insurance for the kids and she does not, even though the divorce does not say who should. I am looking for the honest truth from the community. thanks for any help and ideas
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MrsB
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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Just b/c she is the primary custody doesn't mean you don't already have joint custody - and it seems to me you need to get more familiar on what rights you do have :). What does it say in your court order about custody? Are you still working out of state 30 days at a time? What kinds of rules does she want you to follow that you aren't (which btw seems to be BS to me unless they are valid "rules" - however, you are also a parent, and unless there is some major things from your past that would make you unable to parent the way you see fit in your own home on your own time - you should do so)?
Edited by MrsB (02/04/12 04:34 PM)
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static3576
recently joined
Reged: 02/04/12
Posts: 5
Loc: Arkansas
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No I do not work out of town and have not since before August last year. the divorce does say joint custody withher being primary custodian. I did take 2 of my kids to school in the mornings for the last 2 months. I just took a promotion at work which will let me make alot more money, which means I can quit my second job, but it also means i wont be able to take my kids to school and I will get home around 5:30 pm instead of 4:30. apparently to her I should tell my job that I am going to take them to school at least one morning every week and that I should take off work every other time if the kids have a dentist appt. or they have forgot something at home or if they need another pair of clothes. I also get in trouble cause I do not run my house like hers
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MrsB
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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Thanks for answering:)
How old are your kids? Can they not take the bus or go to before/after school care?
I would normally agree with her that you should take off every other time for their appointments - however, if she does not work - there's no reason for you to miss days at work when she can take them.
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static3576
recently joined
Reged: 02/04/12
Posts: 5
Loc: Arkansas
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My oldest is 14 and i have a 12, 10 and 9 yr old as well. No she does not work, I just started this job I have august, I was not in a position to ask to take off. In fact a few times my mother took my kids for both of us to the dentist. My mother loves the kids as she should and takes them for me when they stay with me. They are fine at home alone if they have to be for a little bit. Ex-wife keeps telling me to do this for the kids, cause its the best for them. I already let her have the finally say so in decision regarding the kids. So I can't see what the benefit will be by signing over custody.
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MrsB
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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How far away do you live from each other?
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SockPuppet1
journeyman
Reged: 12/30/11
Posts: 83
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DON'T LISTEN TO MRSB. I WLDN'T. SHE'S IN THE MDDL OF A CUSTDY BTTLE CAUSD BY HER ACTN WTH A GAL.
USNG HER BOY TO GET MOR CHLD SUPPT. TRID REPLCNG HER EX WITH HER NOW STBX.
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nope
member
Reged: 12/31/11
Posts: 148
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Don't listen to MrsB. She took her 1st ex to court for sole custody and lowered his support by $50.00, for doing so. A few months later. MrsB went back to court for a CS incress. Listen to the Devil before you listen to MrsB. She likes to SNATCH kids away from the fathers. She also likes to lie to the courts and find CP monthers unfit. She tried that a few years back. She tried to have her step daughter's mother found insane.
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