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mbg13
journeyman


Reged: 09/07/07
Posts: 73
Dental Implants -- necessary or cosmetic --
      #779627 - 03/12/12 10:15 AM

Need opinions:

BACKGROUND:
I had custody of our son until age 17. When he was around age 14 or so, the dentist recommended ortho work because two teeth on the top row, either the cuspic or the molar, did not grow in. Eventually he got braces, and at that time, the orthodontist informed me that once the braces are off he would need retainers with fake teeth so that once the braces were off the teeth wouldn't shift. We also had option of doing dental implants to replace the two missing teeth.

At that time, my Ex had dental insurance which covered braces, but for whatever reason he did not tell me....I guess to somehow punish me. Before the braces work began, I told him everything that the dentist/ortho recommended and his response was that he would not be paying anything. Little did I know that he had insurance that would cover it.

At the time our child support order said that we were to split 50% all "reasonable medical, dental and pharmaceutical" expenses not covered under insurance. I thought the braces were reasonable, so I went ahead and got it done and sent him receipts which he refused to pay. Years later I took him to court and everything came out about him having insurance -- actually this was his argument for not having to pay. He tried to say that I refused to use his insurance and wanted to go to my own doctor. The judge thankfully saw right through that and...long story short, the Judge forced him to pay 1/2 of all expenses.

CURRENT SITUATION:
My ex and I do not pay child support to each other. Since he has custody of our son and I have custody of our daugther. But we still have to split medical, dental and pharmaceutical.

Our son is currently 20 -- actually in 6 months he will be 21 -- and from what my daughter telles me -- my ex is afraid that I will take him to court for child support for her once that happens. Nothing could be further from the truth. I haven't had so much peace and tranquility since that child support order has been null and void and a few hundred dollars a month is not worth disrupting that. But that's another story.

Anyway, my ex just sent me a letter stating that our son began the work of getting dental implants because his teeth were "shifting". He mentioned in his letter how the doctor that I chose recommended it years ago and asked me to pay 1/2 -- which is $1,800. I don't have that kind of money, and right now our daugther is going to college and I'm paying all of these fees and expenses in connection with that. I'm annoyed that he didn't tell me before the work began.

Question: Giving all the above, do you think that "dental implants" are a reasonable dental expense. Part of me says, yes and part of me says no -- its cosmetic work and I believe quite frankly if he would have worn his retainers, his teeth wouldn't be shifting now. But I'm unsure. I'm sure that if I refuse, he's going to take me to Court....and so much for my peace and tranquility.

What do you think?


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annieo
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Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1489
Re: Dental Implants -- necessary or cosmetic -- [Re: mbg13]
      #779630 - 03/12/12 10:32 AM

I would definitely do the implants at your sons age and his teeth shifting he will be far better off in the long run. Retainers do not do the same as permanent teeth.

Without permanent teeth the teeth will continue to move - as he grows and gets older the problem will become worse for him.

I have dental implants and I LOVE them and they are permanent just like real teeth the bone grows around the implant making the teeth a permanent part of the bone structure. The crown that goes over the implant may need to be replaced years down the road if it gets chip but that is the same as a normal tooth except that the implant crown is sturdier.

I would not have counted on the retainers to hold the other teeth from shifting they attach but they are not the sturdiness needed for teeth not to shift not to mention they will have to be replaced from time to time whereas the implants are permanent.


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mbg13
journeyman


Reged: 09/07/07
Posts: 73
Re: Dental Implants -- necessary or cosmetic -- [Re: annieo]
      #779646 - 03/12/12 11:22 AM

Thanks for your response.

It didn't answer all of my questions, but I think that's my fault -- I should have been clearer.

Under the order which states that parents share 50% of all "reasonable.....dental expenses" would you consider dental implants a necessary and reasonable dental expense.


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hanzblinx
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Reged: 08/13/10
Posts: 388
Re: Dental Implants -- necessary or cosmetic -- [Re: mbg13]
      #779648 - 03/12/12 11:26 AM

Sounds like hypocrisy to me. If you can't see that then you can't be helped.

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mbg13
journeyman


Reged: 09/07/07
Posts: 73
Re: Dental Implants -- necessary or cosmetic -- [Re: hanzblinx]
      #779657 - 03/12/12 11:43 AM

[quote]Sounds like hypocrisy to me. If you can't see that then you can't be helped. [/quote]

??? I'm not sure what this means. Is this meant as an insult? Quite frankly, I didn't post to be insulted and I'm merely asking for an "opinion" not insults. If you don't have anything constructive to say, please do not respond to my post. Have a wonderful day.


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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14759
Re: Dental Implants -- necessary or cosmetic -- [Re: mbg13]
      #779668 - 03/12/12 12:19 PM

At what age of the child is the order no longer enforceable?

I would yes this falls under reasonable dental work. You could talk to the dentist yourself and see. However, if the teeth could continue to move without the implants that could cause much bigger problems longterm.

I would be honest with your X and let him know you can't fork over $1800 right now. The dentist may have a dental payment plan? Be straight with your X and what you can afford. You said you are paying for your DD"s college expenses? You may to pay less of those to help out with your son's dental care.


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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 31262
Re: Dental Implants -- necessary or cosmetic -- [Re: mbg13]
      #779730 - 03/13/12 08:48 AM

I think it was done in an insulting manner, but he was spot on. If you think the child's dentist was right when YOU had work done, and expected Dad to pay for half, now that Dad is having the REST of the work done, its your turn to pay for YOUR half. To NOW say the SAME work you insisted DAD pay half of is "unreasonable" is hipocracy.

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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NikkiL
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Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 644
Re: Dental Implants -- necessary or cosmetic -- [Re: mbg13]
      #779750 - 03/13/12 11:06 AM

If you paid for braces, it makes no sense to allow the teeth that you spent all the money to fix, to shift. You made the initial investment, knowing this was a likely outcome. He paid his half, even if you had to force it out of him, he did pay it. It is pretty hypocritical to then refuse to pay your half to finish the treatment.

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mbg13
journeyman


Reged: 09/07/07
Posts: 73
Re: Dental Implants -- necessary or cosmetic -- [Re: NikkiL]
      #779806 - 03/13/12 01:31 PM

Thank you all for your comments.

I don't think I'm being hypocritical. First, our dentist said it was ONE option. Not the only option. I don't know what other options there are. Second, when I had the braces put on, I discussed it with him and he didn't disagree that it needed to be done -- he just refused to share the expense or even inform me that his insurance would pay for some of the work.

If he had at least given me a warning or a heads up as to what was going on, I would have tried to see if there was a payment plan or financing if this is the only or the best choice available. But even if I wanted to finance, I can't do that because the work has already started and although he financed and makes monthly paymetns -- he does not want partial payments -- he wants me to make a full payment.


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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14759
Re: Dental Implants -- necessary or cosmetic -- [Re: mbg13]
      #779809 - 03/13/12 01:47 PM

Well if HE is making partial payments why does he expect full payment from you? He can take you to court, you can tell a judge you can pay $100/month or whatever... and see what happens. If you don't have it all, you don't have it all.

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