Sle
recently joined
Reged: 06/16/12
Posts: 6
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I currently have joint custody with my ex with me having primary residence. The divorce was finalized in arizona in 2010. Me and the kids have been living in Colorado since 2010. Since that time, we have found out that our youngest has a learning disability and my ex is not supporting the needs of our youngest and has not been cooperative with the needs that he has and has fought against the help that he needs. In addition to that challenge, my youngest has been expressing more that he does not want to be at the other parent's house and just recently, neither does my oldest. This trip has been extremely challenging and both children do not want to be there. I am wanting to know if I need to talk to an Arizona lawyer or a Colorado lawyer since our primary residence is in Colorado (the other parent lives in Arizona) to discuss changing custody and modifying the parenting plan? We have in our decree that we can review and modify every twelve months.
Thank you in advance
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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A couple of things. First, you moved to Colorado, so a long distance plan is what is going to be in place. Second, the children's "wants" are not paramount. His lawyer will paint you as the move away parent who now wants to further reduce time.
What kind of learning disability are we talking about?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
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Assuming that you now have a long distance parenting plan and the kids are in school on your time, how critical is it that the 'learning disability needs' are being addressed/met when your ex has his parenting time ?
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Sle
recently joined
Reged: 06/16/12
Posts: 6
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My question was in regards to finding out the state in which I need to consult with a lawyer. I respectfully request not to be judged or the situation to be judged as there are many factors that are involved.
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javajunkiee
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Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3155
Loc: SC
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Talk to one in your state first since you're now considered legal residents of CO. They will advise you as to whether or not they, or an AZ lawyer, can file to change the jurisdiction, and then modify custody.
Despite whatever other factors are involved, both finz and Gr8 raised questions that you'll be asked. If you don't want to appear to a judge as someone actively practicing PAS, be sure to dot your i's and cross your t's. Posters here have been in divorce situations with children who have learning disabilities, and know what to expect.
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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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The issue is whether you can domesticate the decree in CO, which is now the home state of the children. Depends on the laws of AZ and CO and the current parenting arrangement after you presumably moved. There isnt enough inormation to give you an answer. My guess us tgt your ex will oppose domestication and the case will be heard in AZ.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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Sorry, but you will find very few people on here who will tell you how to eradicate Dad from the child's life without knowing WHY. And those that will are not really smart enough to advise you.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Sle
recently joined
Reged: 06/16/12
Posts: 6
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Thank you for the feedback- I am not trying to eradicate their father as I feel it is important for him to be in their life. There might be a point, including this summer, where my youngest cannot stay the full 8 weeks during the summer away from his Colorado home and my ex is unwilling to consider or talk about it in a rational manner. Everything has been done between the both of us up until recently and I have done everything I can for him to have a relationship with his kids (including offering to pay for his flight to see the kids). It has only been until recently that he has been irrational in discussing our child (even though I have been the primary person with couselors and specialists and has chosen to not be involved even when invited to conference call on our meetings and such. No, I am not interested in getting back and to also be extremely clear, he had agreed for the kids to come to Colorado with me (or else I would not have came) and it was included in the original parenting plan.
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Sle
recently joined
Reged: 06/16/12
Posts: 6
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The closest and simplistic (without posting the detailedresults), he has similar behavior as someone with Asperger's. He has always been a little more challenging but it wasn't until he was tested and we found that he has delays in some critical areas. He is in an IEP program at school and between the specialists, my mom and myself, we have been able to provide the support he needs for development and coping skills with some of the challenges he has (I.e not doing well in chaotic environments to where he would hurt himself or someone else- which he no longer uses physical, he has learned a couple of different methods), understanding that he can only retain two to three step direction, the transition in body movement or position affecting his comprehension, transitioning from one activity to another, etc-
He has improved substantially with the resources and tools we, as his community and support system here, have all put and worked together on. My ex's response to a situation and what is going on is him not saying it is fair to his family that my youngest is needing- what makes it challenging is we all have tried to involve him and get his feedback as we were going through the process. Both kids have only been there for less than a week and my youngest has demonstrated severe behaviors that he has never demonstrated before. I don't know what the ramifications will be and I do not know if he will refuse to go back to his dad's and I cannot put an unaccompanied minor on an airplane who is uncontrollable. Again many factors involved and I am Only in beginning stages in research and collecting information. I would rather work this out with him directly and not involve the courts and modifications but I don't think that will be possible, which I find extremely unfortunate.
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Sle
recently joined
Reged: 06/16/12
Posts: 6
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The move was in the initial decree and parenting plan. The reason for the move was finding a job to support the family. I had declined alimony as I knew he couldn't afford it in addition to it was my choice to leave the marriage. He wanted to keep the house and agreed the boys would do better with me during their younger years
. My step-daughter (his from a previous marriage and now 18-year old) was and is still in Colorado too. Part of the parenting plan included the opportunity for all three kids to be together and him being able to visit all three at once. Btw- her and I are extremely close in addition to me being good friends with her mom (way before our divorce) and her mom's family.
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