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Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14784
Re: Separated and Dating
      05/02/06 05:40 AM

To be honest I did not know what I was getting myself into when I started dating my H whose D at the time was 2. She took a great liking to me right away and there was never a problem because she did not remember her parents together since they broke up when she was 1.

BUT as time went on and we married and started our own family things got harder. My H's ex became an issue because she was unhappy in her own life and was resentful towards my H and our life together (she told me this once). As time went on and we had children together, it took A LOT of patience on my behalf. Even to this day we argue about how he raises his D different than we do our own children... (He doesn't like to punish her since our time with her is limited and precious).

Fast foward... she is now a teen and we get along very well, we have a great relationship- but I can't wait till she is 21 because her M plays all those crazy control issues you hear about on here. Don't think this couldn't happen to you because his ex was very nice at first, and then just got horrible over time.

If something ever happened between my H and I, I would NOT ever date a man with a child, unless the child was full grown. It is a stress and although there is so much good that can come from it, the rest can be a nightmare.

Needless to say, if we all felt this way- single parents would stay single for a LONG LONG time. I think as long as you and your GF are aware and understand the life-long difficult journey ahead then why not go for it? A blended family can be difficult but the joy that comes from it is the greatest thing!

Obviously I see BOTH sides of your dilemma, but don't think that you should feel guilty about your feelings especially if they are shared. Why pass up love and a lifetime of happiness because of one failed marriage?

I will also say that I think your GF will have opinions on the matters of CS, visitation and so forth...if you end up married. Hopefully she is the woman you thought she was and she will guide you through your parenthood. She will be your partner and she will then be your D's STEPMOM! She should help raise your D and I am assuming love her and treat her like she would her own.

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Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Separated and Dating InstantCJ 05/01/06 10:01 AM
. * * Re: Separated and Dating Cassie23   05/02/06 05:40 AM
. * * Re: Separated and Dating InstantCJ   05/02/06 10:37 AM
. * * Re: Separated and Dating Gecko   05/01/06 01:14 PM
. * * Re: Separated and Dating InstantCJ   05/01/06 02:16 PM
. * * Re: Separated and Dating Debbie_L   05/01/06 02:58 PM
. * * Re: Separated and Dating almostheaven   05/01/06 10:41 AM
. * * Re: Separated and Dating InstantCJ   05/01/06 12:30 PM
. * * Re: Separated and Dating almostheaven   05/01/06 03:19 PM
. * * Re: Separated and Dating MamaKitty   05/01/06 03:47 PM
. * * Re: Separated and Dating InstantCJ   05/01/06 04:17 PM
. * * Re: Separated and Dating almostheaven   05/01/06 05:00 PM
. * * In Virginia.... BeachBabeRN   05/01/06 07:40 PM

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