justmenow
recently joined
Reged: 05/05/06
Posts: 4
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Don't know what to do
05/05/06 09:40 PM
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Ok I'll try to do a quick run down of my marriage so you can see where I'm coming from and then hopefully give me some advice. My husband and I have two children together. Well actually only one child, my oldest is from a previous relationship. My husband legally adopted him. Anyways, besides the point. My marriage has been going downhill for sometime now. 5 years ago I reconnected with an old boyfriend, we never had sex or anything but he showed me attention that I begged my husband for. He was too worried about "regaining his youth" via hanging out with friends constantly, they were always here everyday for years. His friends would come over even when we weren't here.He'd stay out all night and I wasn't supposed to say anything, and if I did, I was "bitching". Anyways, I talked to him about this and it was like talking to a wall. So when I ran into an old boyfriend, well let's just say that he showed me attention that I wanted from my husband, no sex involved, it was more on an emotional level. Anywho, my husband found out. Well we "worked" things out. Our relationship never got better, only worse. I'm a mother of two boys, a full time college student plus work part time. My husband is a very hard worker and great provider for the family but that's as far as it went. We separated this past December. I continue to live in the home, he pays all the bills plus gives me money to live on for the week. Neither one of us has filed for a separation but he did move out. Well he still comes and goes as he pleases (just like when we were married), we still have sex occasionally, etc. Problem is that everytime we have sex I get sucked back into the relationship but to him it's only sex..no emotions attached. But I'm afraid if I don't have sex with him he's going to find it from someone else and that would literally do me in. Right now I rely on him financially and I guess emotionally too. He told me the other night that he thinks the only way I will be able to get over him is for me to find someone else, because he knows that if he would be the one to start dating first that I would come after him and the "girlfriend" and he's probably right, I will!!! It was almost as if he wants me to start seeing someone so it will give him permission to start seeing someone too. Yes I was the one to ask him to leave because I couldn't stand living like that anymore. I guess I was hoping that it would shock him into seeing that we need to work on the marriage. I went to counseling several times, but he always refused to go. That was just another signal to me. I mean whats the sense in staying in the marriage if only one is willing to work on it. Now that he's moved out, it's killing me. I'm not sure I want it to end, but he says he does. I'm so confused I don't know what to do. Sorry to ramble, but please please please someone give me some advice.
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