BB1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/26/05
Posts: 8051
Loc: MD
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Re: Still trying to figure it all out!
06/15/06 08:12 PM
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James,
It's hard to let go. You are not doing yourself any justice by continuing to "entertain" her during her time away from the other man. I know, I know...it's incredibly hard for so many reasons...emptiness, lonliness, etc. She's providing you with companionship. Just take one day and not communicate with her and at some point strive for a week. Really, no contact is the best place to start on your road to healing. God, I remember so many times when I was new here posting about how badly I wanted to call or write or make any sort of contact. I'd come here pleading for someone to stop me and to help me be strong. The board isn't nearly as active as it was then. A post was answered very quickly back then but I think when you want to call her, you should post here first and wait for a response, even if it's hours away. Find yourself something to do. Yes, easier said than done because a lot of people going through this go into isolation. Maybe you can join a gym and go work out after work or a bowling league or darts or something...anything to occupy your time. Have you gotten angry yet? Like saying "that stupid beepity beep ripped my heart out. She doesn't deserve a second of my time!"
She doesn't deserve your time, your heart, your anything. The forgiveness that you so generously said you could give needs to be given for you, not to relieve her of her guilt. The forgiveness is for your own soul and will help you release the burden from your heart. It has nothing to do with releasing her from anything.
Please think of yourself first and try to limit the contact. And also know we are all here for you to help you be strong.
xoxo,
BB
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It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
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