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Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 7972
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SD and her Mom...how do we prepare her?
06/08/04 07:27 PM
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SD hasn't seen or talked to her mom in 10 weeks. It was at that time that her mom had told her she could move back in, and then turned around and dropped her back on my doorstep in another extortion attempt. If anyome wants the details, I'll post them but many of you will likley remember my story(I hope).
SD's birthday was Sunday...no call, no card no NOTHING from her mom or her sister that lives with mom. Today, she got a call. Okay, so its only two days late, but to a 12 yr old, its a lot. Mom asked SD to come and visit. SD hasn't visited since she found out some of the truth about her mom. SD was very hurt by her mom's most recent garbage. She has been thru so much in the past year..since her mom first kicked her out. Mom plays headgames with SD...lies up a storm about her Dad and I. SD chose not to visit..we decided not to push it anymore and our counsellor agreed.
SD's mom asked SD to come for a visit. SD said ok, but then immediately started in with her 'busy schedule'.
We have such mixed feelings about this. SD has been doing very well since the last episode with her Mom. She is trying so hard not to lie...so hard to be good in every way. We are sure that once she starts seeing her mom again, she will get confused and with drawn. She will slip backwards. We've seen this befiore. Mom will pretend to want to mother her and nurture her...only to turn around and be cruel and mean to her. I have always slept uneasy when she visits there. Its like the three of 'them' against 'her'. I know the drug dealing BF hates her..he's as much as admitted it to me. He is instumental in SD being kicked out...he has all the money so he calls the shots.
I know when she is over there, more lies will be told....more malicious crap made up. It has been so calm and she has just bloomed into a happy kid since the last fiasco...and since she learned some of the truth about her mom's lies. So much is 'makinf sense' to her now.
How would you prepare her? Would you say nothing at all?
I do not want her to hate her mom, I would like her to understand her for what she is, accept it and get past it. Unfortunately, I am positive her mother will do her harm, not good...and the boyfriend is an even worse problem.
*bows head to pray*
I need all the ideas I can get! She won't be visiting anytime soon as the once a month visit her mom requested(when we tried to get her to take eow to work on a relationship with SD) has just past...so it won't be for a while. I'll seriously consider anyone's input!!:-)
-------------------- Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.
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