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Tweeby
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/05/04
Posts: 7100

Re: Why don't SM have any rights????

06/08/05 06:56 AM

Why did your husband stop pursuing custody? What did the BM actually do?

I feel for you. I was in your position. Even with a clear cut case of neglect, it will not be easy to get custody.

My quick story, my husband was the NCP of 2 boys for about 10 years. He had many concerns over the years but when he talked to different lawyers they said there was nothing he could do. He was also being pushed out of his boys lives. He was involved as much as he could. No one would help him even when visitation was refused because his CO read "reasionable visitation" but had a min but he didn't even get the min.

When the oldeer one turned 16 yo, he said he was dropping out of school. My husband was very upset. He made some phone calls and found out that the child wasn't in school for a year. He called more lawyers but each one said there wasn;t anything he could do. he felt defeated.

I talked to a different lawyer about a problem that I had. After the meeting I mentioned my husband's problem. That lawyer was shocked but couldn't help but gave me a name of someone who could. I gave the name to my husband but he felt defeated and didn't call. Imagine our surprise when that lawyer called him.

Trying to shorten this up, my husband hired that lawyer. The emergency change of custody was filed for educational neglect. A year of hell followed. My husband had to change the motion to include only the younger child who was 11. he was told by the court psych evulator to drop the now 17 yo from the case otherwise he would lose. It was a difficult decision. The trial was lasted about 4 days. Than the wait for the decision.

I am now the CSM of my now 12 yo SS. The now 18 yo is estranged from his Dad. We are coming up on the 1 year anniv of SS moving in with us.

Even with a clear cut case of neglect, it was difficult and long. Try to find out WHY he won't pursue custody. It may be too emotional and he may not want to put the kids in the middle. At least that is what I'm assuming the BM pity party was about.

In saving the future of one of his children my husband no longer has contact with his oldest son. The cost of a custody case was not only finacial but emotional also. My husband received calls from his sons saying how much they hated him.

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
Why don't SM have any rights????	mommynurse	06/07/05 05:34 PM
Re: Why don't SM have any rights????	EmC	06/08/05 09:52 AM
Re: Why don't SM have any rights????	Moi	06/08/05 11:16 AM
Re: Why don't SM have any rights????	mommynurse	06/08/05 04:31 PM
Re: Why don't SM have any rights????	TGSM	06/08/05 06:56 PM
I'd report it anyway... you have RN friends, right	YahYah	06/08/05 07:02 PM
Re: Why don't SM have any rights????	MaryWhoCares	06/08/05 08:26 AM
Re: Why don't SM have any rights????	Tweeby	06/08/05 06:56 AM
Re: Why don't SM have any rights????	TGSM	06/07/05 08:54 PM
Re: Why don't SM have any rights????	Loretta	06/07/05 07:10 PM
I feel your pain...	Miranda	06/07/05 07:37 PM
Re: Why don't SM have any rights????	Moi	06/07/05 05:57 PM
Re: Why don't SM have any rights????	mommynurse	06/07/05 07:06 PM
Re: Why don't SM have any rights????	Dee78	06/07/05 06:06 PM
Don't apologize for feeling the way you do &	YahYah	06/07/05 06:12 PM
Re: Why don't SM have any rights????	Maury	06/07/05 05:40 PM

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