bacall
enthusiast
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 274
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Inertia and when does it end -- or does it?
06/10/05 07:59 AM
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Hi all! Hope all the old timers from the Recovery Board have found their way here -- don't see everybody's name yet, though. Have some issues that could really use your thoughts and advice (not that I am known to take it, but could really use it today). Today is about a 1 on a scale of 1-10. Had to speak with my ex-husband yesterday. Lots and lots of financial problems (largely due to my not confronting issues months ago when they all first arose -- the ostrich in the sand -- that is who I have become now) and when I spoke to him, it was like it always was (surprise, surprise). Instead of just telling me the truth (whatever that may be), somehow he turned everything around and it was my fault -- once again. As often as I tried to go back to the original issue and his part in it, he kept revolving it around my failure to agree with what he is doing. Ultimately, he hung up the phone on me. I spent the rest of the day and last night so incredibly depressed and I wonder why I mourn the demise of our marriage so very much. There was not a word of consideration, of trying to work things out or of taking any kind of responsibility for what he originally promised -- even in a court of law. In the meantime, my credit has been destroyed (partly his fault, mostly my own for my lack of iniatitive and basically, lack of ability to act in my own behalf these days) and I'm overwhelmed by it all. I've asked my kids for help but it does not seem to be forthcoming (they take me as un-seriously (not a word, I know) as their father does, apparently. I really don't know what to do and above all else, I feel like a complete fool in so many ways this morning. When is it that the light bulb comes on and you realize that the person you were married to was not the person you created in your mind? And, when does one realize that you really are in this world alone to a great extent and that to survive you need to be strong -- not just some of the time (which I was for 30+ years) but all of the time? Oh, well, just musings from a very overburdened mind this morning. Thanks for listening. Take care everyone, bacall
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