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Divorce Source Community Forums >> Stepfamily Issues

KiwiGirl
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/09/05
Posts: 6271
Loc: Plains State

I know what you mean

06/21/05 05:44 AM

My 2 middle children are lashing out at their father now (after 5 years) and he is wondering 'what did I do'?

All I can say is don't fall apart for him. Tell him that if he wants LV purse he can come and select one anytime he wants.

He should discuss his car choice with his father. If he feels so strongly about his car he had 5 years ago, perhaps this is something he should talk to his father about and ask him why he didn't get him a newer car when they were car shopping.

The kitchen cupboards? You have offered 2x to repay him in some way. He declined both times. So the cupboards belonged to you. Simply tell him you asked many times to repay him and he refused in the past so what were you supposed to assume? Also you have sold the home and he may feel a strong emotional tie to the place and here you are 'rejecting' his generous gift to you albeit a few years ago now.

I get the impression the anger and frustration at the rivorce is only now starting to appear. You see, they wait until they are no longer dependant on you and have a safe place to run to. Then they lash out and reel off all your faults for being their mother and human.

Email him back and tell him paying for his own cell phone is an adult choice. A cell phone is not like a pacemaker or a lung transplant. It is not a life saving medication. It is a choice he made about something he really wanted. My kids want cell phones, they pay for it themselves.

As for his sister, I suspect he feels hard done by. My husband paid his way thru college while his younger brother and sister got financial assistance from his parents. He doesn't like it but that is the way things were. He cannot change it now. So he sees how it made his character grow and become the person he is. And remind him that as he lived rent free with you while earning money you will willingly pay back for the cabinets if he pays back the back rent.

He will come around eventually. They always do. Stay in touch and send him that purse. I suspect he will hand it on to his g/f. But stand your ground. You are an adult and entitled to some respect.

--------------------
If I can't be part of the solution I insist on being most of the problem

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
need some advice on what to do..	sogle57	06/20/05 09:43 PM
I know what you mean	KiwiGirl	06/21/05 05:44 AM
Re: I know what you mean	sogle57	06/21/05 01:49 PM
Re: need some advice on what to do..	Debi	06/20/05 09:58 PM

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