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Divorce Source Community Forums >> Saving Your Marriage

shohn
member

Reged: 11/24/06
Posts: 185
Loc: Texas

Re: Pulling away

01/15/07 08:59 AM

Lsutton,

You've probably heard this before, but maybe you'd like to hear it again.

There are different ways to complain. It all depends on how you say it and when. If he doesn't want to talk about needs, then figure out a lure to get him to talk about needs (not problems). Something like "I like it when you do this..... or that" - not "could you stop doing that or could you please say you love me".

It is part of the cycle - unfortunately it sounds like both of you are in pretty bad shape right now - one does one thing and it pushes the other way and vice versa. You've got to do your homework if you want to make any progress in the other direction. With all the external stress it is a wonder that you both are holding up. It isn't easy - you know that.

I'm telling you, you need to tap into who "you" are somehow so that he'll remember the woman he fell in love with. Look at old year books or something, try old hobbies, books you used to read, something.

Have to ask, Are you doing your homework? Learning everything you can about personality types, how men/women think, common relationship battles, the cyclical nature of relationships / emotions, the push pull phenomenon, space requirements, confidence, etc. and then putting together a plan?

Does he have any "spare time" that doesn't go to the family?

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Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
What did I REALLY think would happen?	lsutton	01/12/07 08:30 PM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	Gecko	01/15/07 12:56 PM
Pulling away	HO2	01/14/07 02:13 PM
Re: Pulling away	shohn	01/14/07 03:09 PM
Re: Pulling away	lsutton	01/15/07 08:29 AM
Re: Pulling away	shohn	01/15/07 08:59 AM
Re: Pulling away	HO2	01/14/07 02:39 PM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	Curmudgeon	01/13/07 10:33 AM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	shohn	01/13/07 06:12 PM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	Curmudgeon	01/13/07 07:34 PM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	lsutton	01/13/07 08:31 PM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	shohn	01/13/07 11:42 PM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	Curmudgeon	01/14/07 10:45 AM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	shohn	01/14/07 01:52 AM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	liftnbhappy	01/14/07 09:42 AM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	shohn	01/14/07 10:52 AM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	shohn	01/14/07 10:55 AM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	shohn	01/14/07 11:25 AM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	Curmudgeon	01/14/07 11:36 AM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	Curmudgeon	01/13/07 10:03 PM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	shohn	01/13/07 06:51 PM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	shohn	01/12/07 09:02 PM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	lsutton	01/13/07 09:00 AM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	shohn	01/13/07 10:18 AM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	lsutton	01/13/07 10:29 AM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	astrogirl	01/15/07 09:54 AM
Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?	lsutton	01/15/07 12:01 PM

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