astrogirl
journeyman
Reged: 10/11/06
Posts: 59
Loc: New York
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Re: What did I REALLY think would happen?
01/15/07 09:54 AM
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You're amazing, lsutton -- your posts show how kind and generous you are even in this unbelievably difficult time.
I understand what shohn is getting at, but it seems to me that he, and some other posters, expect more of you than any mortal could accomplish. Shohn wrote, "Have you already made a list of the top ten things he has asked you to stop doing and stopped doing them?" Here's a little note for you to leave on hubby's pillow:
Honey, I know there's so many things I do that really irritate you. I want to stay married to you, whatever the cost to me & the kids, so I'll stop doing these bad things. I promise
1. to put your wishes ahead of my own needs. That's why I married you.
2. not to say "I love you" so often. You already get that old line from the OW.
3. not to expect you to be faithful. Boys will be boys. Besides, how can you get excited by a woman who's had 5 kids?
4. to be loving, sweet & attentive at all times. I can sleep when the kids go off to college.
5. to be hot to trot all the time, & not to let little things like pregnancy or post-partum hormones get in the way.
6. not to expect you to lend a hand w/ our kids. You have a real job.
7. to let you be angry whenever you want, because it's stressful for you to suppress your anger.
8. to suppress my own anger, because my anger is stressful for you.
9. to stop nagging you about counseling. Since you've figured out what's wrong w/ me, why should we bother w/ a trained counselor?
10. not to pray so much.
I've found that writing someone a letter that will never, ever be sent can be very therapeutic. It works for me, anyway, so I took the liberty of writing one for you. Hope it's good for a chuckle. Hang in there, girl!
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Love as if you would live forever -- live as if you would die tomorrow.
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