splats
recently joined
Reged: 01/15/07
Posts: 3
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angry 12 year old son
01/16/07 01:39 PM
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Here's the situation. Separated 2 years, have 2 kids, 8 year old biological daughter, 12 year old stepson that I formally adopted last June. ( i have been with my son since he was 3 years old. I share custody of both kids with my ex, alternating one week at a time. My daughter has adapted well to the separation. My son has not. He is very angry and desires to be with his dad often. He does not display this behaviour daily, but it does come out in angry episodes about once a month. He has said that he does not want to be here with me. Often calls his dad when things are not going his way. I sense that his dad "tries to fix the problems for him" rather than encourage him to find solutions on his own or discuss ways that he can problem solve effectively. I see a codependancy between the two. Another major concern that I have for my son is that he is very antisocial. Does not have friends calling, spends alot of time by himself, wants to play on the computer or watch tv only. When asked what he wants to do, usually says "nothing". I do encourage him to take part in extra curric. activities and have suggested that we do something together, but he has no desire to do so. He did have friends at the beginning of the school year and seemed very happy and excited about his blossoming social life. That dwindled though and now he seems to constantly need to be entertained when not on the computer or tv. I do limit his time on each. I would like to encourage him to have more fun in his life. He does very well at school, straight As. He seems to rub off on people as being very intelligent and gets along well with adults. He seems to have trouble relating to other kids though and comes across as abrasive. He seems to have nothing that sparks his interest except being with his dad. I would like suggestions about what I can do to help him out. It is not about "winning the war" for me against his dad but is about doing what is best for my son. He seems to see me more as the parent and does despise when i enforce the rules. Dad seems to be the favoured parent. I would like to have a better relationship with my son.
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