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kemahapalew
journeyman

Reged: 02/03/07
Posts: 65

Re: My disintegrating marriage

02/06/07 07:59 AM

How long did you two know eachother before marrying? Although I know there are a lot of marriages out there with long courtships and engagements that end up in divorce as well...I do believe that when you do not allow yourself enough time to know someone before marrying them it's like Russian Roulette.
In response to "opposites attract"...very true. However they don't last...Those who have the same likes and dislikes and things in common are the ones who are going to go the long haul. Opposites fizzle.
However by the feelings you seem to express it sounds like you have an extremely deep friendship for this man. And somewhat of an addiction to him as well. Co-dependent in a sense I guess as well as he towards you. There are so many types of love but the type of love that you both seem to have for one another is not the kind that can make a functional marriage without both wanting some serious counceling.
However, you said you went to counceling for a year and it did nothing but did you ever try a sex therapist? And did you try to find a different councelor? Councelors are like anything else..you have try a few before finding the right one.
I know your infidelity is killing you inside but please do not put all the blame on yourself nor completely blow it off as ok. It takes two in a marriage for one to be unfaithful. Unless the person is a sex addict or someone who who finds thrill at the "getting away" with something.
I think that maybe you should try to find some counceling for yourself to help yourself understand why you continue in this marriage and to give you the strength to make the right decisions. Talking to a good councelor will be an objective way of helping you deal with this situation. The worst thing that comes out of something like this is that we end up feeling bad about ourselves and killing our self-esteem. That's where the true danger lies in all of this. The part where you say that "you didn't use to be a bad person" is extremely sad to me because reading this I didn't see a bad person at all. I saw a troubled person trying to find answers.

Edited by kemahapalew (02/06/07 08:01 AM)

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
My disintegrating marriage	mayfly	02/05/07 11:52 AM
Re: My disintegrating marriage	Gecko	02/09/07 12:28 PM
Re: My disintegrating marriage	Patrice	02/10/07 04:24 PM
Re: My disintegrating marriage	kemahapalew	02/06/07 07:59 AM
REALLY?	Curmudgeon	02/06/07 08:06 PM
Re: REALLY?	kemahapalew	02/07/07 06:56 AM
Re: REALLY?	Curmudgeon	02/07/07 01:41 PM
Re: My disintegrating marriage	HO2	02/06/07 03:59 AM
Re: My disintegrating marriage	liftnbhappy	02/05/07 12:52 PM
Re: My disintegrating marriage	mayfly	02/05/07 06:51 PM
Re: My disintegrating marriage	HO2	02/06/07 04:05 AM
Re: My disintegrating marriage	Rebecca5	02/05/07 12:51 PM

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