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overcoming_evil
recently joined

Reged: 02/11/07
Posts: 3

Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!

02/11/07 01:13 PM

You have a friend here to support you in the midst of these truly ignorant attacks. I have no idea where they are coming from, but clearly, some of the people responding are being very harsh- and I encourage you to either give 'em hell or ignore them- and I agree that spending your precious time and energy trying to convince someone who is being rude that you are an upstanding human being is a waste of your time and energy. Don't listen to them!

To those of you who are being rude, shame on you! Don't bother responding or trying to pick a fight, because I'm not even going to read it. Just go back into your little holes and continue with your lives.

Anyway, back to what I wanted to say to you. Everything you said in your initial post makes perfect sense to me. You have behaved in a textbook manner like a healthy, normal woman in an abusive marriage.

You are in an abusive marriage. You are wise to want to get a divorce. It will help your children for you to get out of this, even though it will rock the boat. They deserve to learn that abuse should not be tolerated and that life goes on.

Don't feel a bit guilty about having stayed with him or about deciding to leave when you are pregnant with your fifth child. YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. HE DID. YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT. HE IS. YOU WORKED HARD TO MAKE IT WORK. That took a lot of courage and perseverence!

Now, you have come to the point where you see that he is not going to change, and if you continue to try (heroically!) to keep things stable, you are may end up in the hospital. YOU ARE WISE. YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER.

Find your local domestic violence shelter and ask to speak to their legal advocate. They will provide you with free legal advice and direct you to many resources.

If you want to stay home with your little ones until they are ready for you to be away from them, you may be able to find a way. There are work-from-home jobs.

I was a stay at home mom of a 3 year old when I left my psychologically abusive husband 10 years ago. I was able to make ends meet (barely, but I did it) until he was in school full time- and then I got an office job.

Right now your head is spinning, you're overwhelmed and scared. Once you tap some legal resources and get a counselor who specializes in abusive relationships, things will get better.

Again, forget these people who are judging you. They don't know what they're talking about.

STRONG HUGS! Keep breathing and go to this website with domestic violence resources- legal, emotional support of all kinds with resources form women attorneys who understand exactly the position you are in:

http://www.womenlawyers.com/domestic.htm

I also want to share something with you for a little more "moral" support. My friend sent me this video today- it is the story of 100 horses who were stranded on a tiny piece of land in the Netherlands during a severe storm last November. The fire department was unable to rescue them. The army was unable to rescue them. Then, four women on horseback road out and led the horses to safety.

All of us strong, normal women who have found ourselves with abusive men through no fault of our own are like the 100 horses in this video. As we support each other and affirm each other's strength, we can guide each other to safety. I am still trapped in certain ways by my ex-husband, and have continued to be mistreated by him since our divorce; I will have to deal with him until my son turns 18. Some days I am one of the 100 horses stranded on the tiny piece of land. Some days I am one of the women on horseback, leading others to freedom. Today, I have been both. I hope you find the video encouraging. I send it with much love and the promise of a better future for yourself and your children.

http://video.google.nl/videoplay?docid=-584913278289860160

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/03/07 08:20 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Rebecca5	02/04/07 08:36 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 08:43 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Rebecca5	02/04/07 09:53 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 10:29 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Miranda	02/05/07 01:51 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Rebecca5	02/04/07 10:51 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/05/07 07:42 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 08:48 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/03/07 02:00 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 10:19 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Gecko	02/04/07 11:32 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/04/07 12:30 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 01:45 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	overcoming_evil	02/11/07 01:13 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Gecko	02/13/07 10:25 PM
But but but...	almostheaven	02/14/07 08:44 AM
Re: But but but...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:32 AM
Re: But but but...	Olivia000102	02/14/07 01:42 PM
Olivia...	almostheaven	02/14/07 09:39 PM
Re: Olivia...	preemiemom	02/14/07 09:46 PM
Re: Olivia...	almostheaven	02/14/07 09:51 PM
Re: Olivia...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 06:52 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 08:34 AM
Whoa!	almostheaven	02/11/07 07:02 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 08:27 AM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 08:51 AM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:18 AM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:04 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 05:11 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:16 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 05:41 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:45 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 05:55 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:59 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:04 AM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 09:15 AM
Re: Whoa!	Loretta	02/15/07 08:40 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:27 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:20 AM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:25 AM
Re: Whoa!	preemiemom	02/12/07 10:39 AM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:09 PM
AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	preemiemom	02/12/07 07:41 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/12/07 10:10 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	preemiemom	02/13/07 08:51 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/13/07 09:01 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	preemiemom	02/13/07 09:59 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/13/07 04:36 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	zepdiva	02/13/07 06:30 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/13/07 06:37 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	preemiemom	02/13/07 07:12 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/13/07 07:16 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	zepdiva	02/14/07 11:50 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	Olivia000102	02/14/07 01:34 PM
Shooooooooooo	preemiemom	02/14/07 11:56 AM
LOL	almostheaven	02/14/07 09:38 PM
Re: LOL	Miranda	02/15/07 07:39 AM
Re: LOL	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:52 AM
Re: LOL	Miranda	02/15/07 08:12 AM
You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:29 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 09:15 AM
"defending myself"...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:20 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Spring	02/15/07 09:38 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:21 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Spring	02/15/07 08:39 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Runswithscissors	02/15/07 10:09 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Spring	02/16/07 12:03 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Redlegg	02/16/07 02:36 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:41 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 09:06 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:14 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Miranda	02/15/07 09:10 AM
ROFLMFAO!...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:15 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 09:16 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Karen1	02/15/07 05:12 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 06:01 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Karen1	02/15/07 07:01 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:10 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Karen1	02/15/07 07:25 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:48 PM
Troll	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:15 PM
Re: Troll	kemahapalew	02/15/07 08:26 PM
Re: Troll	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:36 PM
Re: Troll	preemiemom	02/15/07 09:16 PM
Thanks...	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:40 PM
Re: Troll	kemahapalew	02/15/07 08:32 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Karen1	02/15/07 08:12 PM
No way Jose...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:16 PM
"They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	almostheaven	02/15/07 07:26 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	Karen1	02/15/07 07:33 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	almostheaven	02/15/07 07:48 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	Karen1	02/15/07 08:20 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:52 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	zepdiva	02/16/07 04:07 PM
Hey troll...	almostheaven	02/16/07 04:28 PM
Re: Hey troll...	zepdiva	02/16/07 04:39 PM
Re: Hey troll...	almostheaven	02/16/07 05:07 PM
Re: Hey troll...	Karen1	02/16/07 05:39 PM
Re: Hey troll...	almostheaven	02/17/07 02:31 PM
Re: Hey troll...	Karen1	02/17/07 03:21 PM
Re: Hey troll...	almostheaven	02/17/07 05:54 PM
Re: Hey troll...	zepdiva	02/16/07 05:38 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:53 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:05 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 07:16 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:36 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:04 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 08:18 PM
Man!	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:25 PM
OK...	preemiemom	02/15/07 09:46 AM
Re: OK...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 10:23 AM
Re: OK...	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:46 PM
Hooray!...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:18 AM
Re: Hooray!...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 10:28 AM
Wow!	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:49 PM
Re: Hooray!...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 10:26 AM
Re: Hooray!...	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:50 PM
Watch it Spring...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:41 AM
Re: Watch it Spring...	Spring	02/15/07 08:43 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	preemiemom	02/15/07 08:37 AM
Oh I dunno...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:42 AM
I'm LMAO!	zepdiva	02/15/07 05:53 PM
Re: I'm LMAO!	almostheaven	02/15/07 07:02 PM
Re: I'm LMAO!	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:54 PM
Re: I'm LMAO!	kemahapalew	02/15/07 06:03 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	kemahapalew	02/13/07 10:02 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/14/07 08:41 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	Gecko	02/13/07 10:28 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	kemahapalew	02/14/07 04:51 AM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 05:37 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:54 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 06:06 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 06:11 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 09:55 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 12:55 PM
Re: Whoa!	matart1	02/12/07 02:02 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 03:49 PM
Re: Whoa!	preemiemom	02/12/07 01:38 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 04:20 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 03:40 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:29 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/04/07 05:29 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 09:11 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/05/07 07:38 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 08:32 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/05/07 07:32 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Gecko	02/04/07 01:59 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 02:41 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/04/07 03:48 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 03:58 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/04/07 04:01 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 04:12 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 04:49 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/04/07 04:53 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	TGSM	02/04/07 08:43 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/03/07 08:11 PM

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