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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391

Re: Whoa!

02/12/07 01:38 PM

Okay, I never even got past "Murderer".

And yes, I'm FULLY aware of what a baby looks like at even 7 weeks, the week in which I started having problems with my pregnancy with my 1 year old.. so I'm fully aware there is a heartbeat, yada yada yada yada.

I have NO problem with having had an abortion. I had an early 1st trimester termination and did so, basically not to "inconvenience" myself, as you put it.. but to save myself forever being trapped with a physically abusive man to whom I would have been trapped (much as you are right now) for the rest of my life. (please note, the man spent time on home confinement for domestic assault, assault of ME.. assault of me AFTER the pregnancy was ended, AFTER we had broken up.. in addition to the various episodes BEFORE that, but trying to END the relationship was what really got me beat up).

Did I sacrific an unborn child to save my own life? Yes, I did.. Do I have a problem with that? Definately not. Better to not have the child at all, then to have a child born with an eventually dead mother.

As for "selfish" and a "burden". I disagree. I gave my FIRST child up for ADOPTION. Gave him to a family and home that would be able to provide for him and care for him. He was also an unplanned pregnancy, got pregnant at 17 1/2, the VERY FIRST TIME that I ever had sex. Was that "selfish"? To give him up? I don't think so.

The circumstances of the two pregnancies were totally different, both accidental.. however, the 2nd one being in a much more dangerous situation and one which I do not regret terminating.

I'm not one to believe in abortion as a mechanism for birth control; however, I do believe it is a woman's body and a woman's choice. No woman who is raped should EVER be forced to carry that child if she chooses not to. It's not YOUR right to say, nor a man's right to say (particularly not if he's a rapist) and it sure as hell isn't the government's right.

You're right that no one has the right to judge you for having babies.. but sweetheart, at SOME point, you must realize that you're continually bringing babies/children into a losing situation.. a losing situation that someday, they themselves are likely to repeat.

There are SOOOOO Many ways to control getting pregnant. Mind you, I'm 38 years old.. at 17 and 22 I wasn't so wise. At 36, when I finally did get pregnant.. I went 2 years trying various birth control pills, no good... a year on an IUD.. also no good.. tremendously horrible little device THAT is... and then did it MY way for 13 years.. had sex regularly, and didn't get pregnant. Why? Care, caution. I knew my cycle religiously. I avoided sex anywhere near ovulation, and any other time, I used a method I was comfortable with (sponges + condoms). And I never got pregnant. Before you think I'm infertile, or less fertile. It took my husband THREE YEARS to conceive his daughter with his ex... I'm 36... he was 34. Took us TWO cycles after I stopped my method to get pregnant, hence why we got pregnant 3 months BEFORE our wedding.. Neither of us EVER imagined that in our mid-30's.. with him supposedly having fertility issues etc.. that it would take so little.. so I'm still fertile mertile..

My point? If you don't WANT more children, you do what you have to in order to not HAVE more children. The way I see it.. subconsciously, you like this. You like the drama, you like adding more kids in the picture.. it's what you want. You want the attention. Why else would you go on a national television show to air your problems? You live that life and you make those decisions because it's what you want.

No one here can truly help YOU until you help yourself. Until you recognize who HE is, who YOU are and how you all got yourselves into this mess to begin with. At a minimum? You're a co-dependent and you enable his behavior. Did they tell you that on Dr. Phil? Get thee to a REAL therapist if you really want help with your and your husband's issues... or with just getting your own life together on your own...

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/03/07 08:20 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Rebecca5	02/04/07 08:36 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 08:43 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Rebecca5	02/04/07 09:53 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 10:29 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Miranda	02/05/07 01:51 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Rebecca5	02/04/07 10:51 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/05/07 07:42 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 08:48 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/03/07 02:00 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 10:19 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Gecko	02/04/07 11:32 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/04/07 12:30 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 01:45 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	overcoming_evil	02/11/07 01:13 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Gecko	02/13/07 10:25 PM
But but but...	almostheaven	02/14/07 08:44 AM
Re: But but but...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:32 AM
Re: But but but...	Olivia000102	02/14/07 01:42 PM
Olivia...	almostheaven	02/14/07 09:39 PM
Re: Olivia...	preemiemom	02/14/07 09:46 PM
Re: Olivia...	almostheaven	02/14/07 09:51 PM
Re: Olivia...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 06:52 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 08:34 AM
Whoa!	almostheaven	02/11/07 07:02 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 08:27 AM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 08:51 AM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:18 AM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:04 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 05:11 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:16 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 05:41 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:45 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 05:55 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:59 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:04 AM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 09:15 AM
Re: Whoa!	Loretta	02/15/07 08:40 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:27 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:20 AM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:25 AM
Re: Whoa!	preemiemom	02/12/07 10:39 AM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:09 PM
AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	preemiemom	02/12/07 07:41 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/12/07 10:10 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	preemiemom	02/13/07 08:51 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/13/07 09:01 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	preemiemom	02/13/07 09:59 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/13/07 04:36 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	zepdiva	02/13/07 06:30 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/13/07 06:37 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	preemiemom	02/13/07 07:12 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/13/07 07:16 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	zepdiva	02/14/07 11:50 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	Olivia000102	02/14/07 01:34 PM
Shooooooooooo	preemiemom	02/14/07 11:56 AM
LOL	almostheaven	02/14/07 09:38 PM
Re: LOL	Miranda	02/15/07 07:39 AM
Re: LOL	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:52 AM
Re: LOL	Miranda	02/15/07 08:12 AM
You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:29 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 09:15 AM
"defending myself"...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:20 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Spring	02/15/07 09:38 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:21 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Spring	02/15/07 08:39 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Runswithscissors	02/15/07 10:09 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Spring	02/16/07 12:03 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Redlegg	02/16/07 02:36 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:41 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 09:06 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:14 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Miranda	02/15/07 09:10 AM
ROFLMFAO!...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:15 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 09:16 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Karen1	02/15/07 05:12 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 06:01 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Karen1	02/15/07 07:01 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:10 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Karen1	02/15/07 07:25 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:48 PM
Troll	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:15 PM
Re: Troll	kemahapalew	02/15/07 08:26 PM
Re: Troll	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:36 PM
Re: Troll	preemiemom	02/15/07 09:16 PM
Thanks...	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:40 PM
Re: Troll	kemahapalew	02/15/07 08:32 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Karen1	02/15/07 08:12 PM
No way Jose...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:16 PM
"They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	almostheaven	02/15/07 07:26 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	Karen1	02/15/07 07:33 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	almostheaven	02/15/07 07:48 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	Karen1	02/15/07 08:20 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:52 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	zepdiva	02/16/07 04:07 PM
Hey troll...	almostheaven	02/16/07 04:28 PM
Re: Hey troll...	zepdiva	02/16/07 04:39 PM
Re: Hey troll...	almostheaven	02/16/07 05:07 PM
Re: Hey troll...	Karen1	02/16/07 05:39 PM
Re: Hey troll...	almostheaven	02/17/07 02:31 PM
Re: Hey troll...	Karen1	02/17/07 03:21 PM
Re: Hey troll...	almostheaven	02/17/07 05:54 PM
Re: Hey troll...	zepdiva	02/16/07 05:38 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:53 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:05 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 07:16 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:36 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:04 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 08:18 PM
Man!	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:25 PM
OK...	preemiemom	02/15/07 09:46 AM
Re: OK...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 10:23 AM
Re: OK...	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:46 PM
Hooray!...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:18 AM
Re: Hooray!...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 10:28 AM
Wow!	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:49 PM
Re: Hooray!...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 10:26 AM
Re: Hooray!...	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:50 PM
Watch it Spring...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:41 AM
Re: Watch it Spring...	Spring	02/15/07 08:43 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	preemiemom	02/15/07 08:37 AM
Oh I dunno...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:42 AM
I'm LMAO!	zepdiva	02/15/07 05:53 PM
Re: I'm LMAO!	almostheaven	02/15/07 07:02 PM
Re: I'm LMAO!	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:54 PM
Re: I'm LMAO!	kemahapalew	02/15/07 06:03 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	kemahapalew	02/13/07 10:02 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/14/07 08:41 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	Gecko	02/13/07 10:28 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	kemahapalew	02/14/07 04:51 AM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 05:37 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:54 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 06:06 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 06:11 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 09:55 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 12:55 PM
Re: Whoa!	matart1	02/12/07 02:02 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 03:49 PM
Re: Whoa!	preemiemom	02/12/07 01:38 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 04:20 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 03:40 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:29 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/04/07 05:29 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 09:11 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/05/07 07:38 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 08:32 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/05/07 07:32 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Gecko	02/04/07 01:59 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 02:41 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/04/07 03:48 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 03:58 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/04/07 04:01 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 04:12 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 04:49 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/04/07 04:53 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	TGSM	02/04/07 08:43 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/03/07 08:11 PM

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