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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391

AlmostHeaven.. Clarification

02/12/07 07:41 PM

Hi! I may have misread something, but I just wanted to clarify, I haven't had three abortions. Just the one.

The pregnancies, the first time. I was 17 1/2 and to be honest, I came from a pretty "frigid" household and sex just was never ever ever discussed, other than by virtue of the fact that my parent's DIDN'T have sex and HADN'T had sex, probably since I'd been conceived. At the time I got pregnant the first time, I ran an EXTREMELY short cycle, 18 - 21 days... I think the whole sex act took a grand total of 3 minutes from what I can recall.. a holiday party, was drinking (I know.. bad.. and I wasn't a drinker, hence why I got drunk).

Anyway... rather than terminate the pregnancy, it was always my intention that I was giving the child up.. which I did.

The 2nd pregnancy... I mentioned it was an abusive relationship. I was HIGHLY co-dependent in that one and he was sexually.... aggressive... to use a nice word. I think it was his INTENT to get me pregnant and probably sabotaged the method of birth control used to accomplish that goal. There honestly was NO other choice, otherwise I would have stayed tied to that man and he was, and still is, I believe, highly dangerous. It took me moving 3 times, to three different towns to get a police department that would actually deal with a domestic abuse case properly AND deal with a suspect whose family was "connected" (I'm from a state where the mob has a pretty high prominence, or it used to in the 70's and 80's.. the time period for this situation is the late 80's early 90's) and who had numerous cousins and such in law enforcement. When he stole my car? Called the cops, had 7 witnesses and who showed up? Three cousins. What did they do? They let him tow the car away. I found it several months later, burned out in a bad section of town. When I finally DID move somewhere where they paid attention, they didn't take any crap whatsoever, and basically harassed the guy on every B&E in the city for months (he had a habit of breaking into my apartments and beating on me so he had several arrests for Breaking and Entering). When he was finally arrested, put to trial and sentenced, the local cops continued to monitor my residence for probably about a year after. When I met my first husband? Cops actually pulled him over, checked him out and warned him not to mess with me. Scared the bejesus out of him.

Not trying to justify.. or maybe I am. But I'll honestly say.. I'm, I think??, a rare woman who has been through all three of the possible "what to do with a baby" question and I can say I have no problem living with the abortion.. but when I had my problems with the pregnancy with this child (who WAS wanted and who WAS planned.. albeit a bit sooner than expected, but only b/c my husband/I both anticipated some fertility issues) I had a serious problem with "karma" I guess and feeling that her being premature was my punishment for giving a child UP.. but not for the termination.

That may sound bad... but I guess it's just how my mind has compartmentalized/dealt with the bad stuff. The four years with that man, of which 2 was spent trying to get RID of that man, were sheer, unadulterated HE!!.. Just horrendous. He threatened everyone from me, my friends, my boss, my boss' wife, my boss' kids, my parents... you name it. There was NO way I'd be able to live for 18 years, never mind a lifetime, with him on a day-to-day basis.. I honestly and truly believe he would have eventually killed me.

Anyway, just sharing :) I didn't take it as a criticism at all. I'm pretty cool with where I'm at with those situations and I'm okay with talking about them. Sometimes it's good to take the old skeletons out and dust 'em off and remember how we got to where we are, lol.

And ahhhh.. ok.. you win the age prize :) I just got an earlier start, lol...

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/03/07 08:20 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Rebecca5	02/04/07 08:36 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 08:43 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Rebecca5	02/04/07 09:53 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 10:29 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Miranda	02/05/07 01:51 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Rebecca5	02/04/07 10:51 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/05/07 07:42 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 08:48 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/03/07 02:00 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 10:19 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Gecko	02/04/07 11:32 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/04/07 12:30 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 01:45 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	overcoming_evil	02/11/07 01:13 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Gecko	02/13/07 10:25 PM
But but but...	almostheaven	02/14/07 08:44 AM
Re: But but but...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:32 AM
Re: But but but...	Olivia000102	02/14/07 01:42 PM
Olivia...	almostheaven	02/14/07 09:39 PM
Re: Olivia...	preemiemom	02/14/07 09:46 PM
Re: Olivia...	almostheaven	02/14/07 09:51 PM
Re: Olivia...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 06:52 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 08:34 AM
Whoa!	almostheaven	02/11/07 07:02 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 08:27 AM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 08:51 AM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:18 AM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:04 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 05:11 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:16 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 05:41 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:45 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 05:55 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:59 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:04 AM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 09:15 AM
Re: Whoa!	Loretta	02/15/07 08:40 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:27 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:20 AM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:25 AM
Re: Whoa!	preemiemom	02/12/07 10:39 AM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:09 PM
AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	preemiemom	02/12/07 07:41 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/12/07 10:10 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	preemiemom	02/13/07 08:51 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/13/07 09:01 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	preemiemom	02/13/07 09:59 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/13/07 04:36 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	zepdiva	02/13/07 06:30 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/13/07 06:37 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	preemiemom	02/13/07 07:12 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/13/07 07:16 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	zepdiva	02/14/07 11:50 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	Olivia000102	02/14/07 01:34 PM
Shooooooooooo	preemiemom	02/14/07 11:56 AM
LOL	almostheaven	02/14/07 09:38 PM
Re: LOL	Miranda	02/15/07 07:39 AM
Re: LOL	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:52 AM
Re: LOL	Miranda	02/15/07 08:12 AM
You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:29 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 09:15 AM
"defending myself"...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:20 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Spring	02/15/07 09:38 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:21 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Spring	02/15/07 08:39 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Runswithscissors	02/15/07 10:09 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Spring	02/16/07 12:03 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Redlegg	02/16/07 02:36 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:41 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 09:06 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:14 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Miranda	02/15/07 09:10 AM
ROFLMFAO!...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:15 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 09:16 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Karen1	02/15/07 05:12 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 06:01 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Karen1	02/15/07 07:01 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:10 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Karen1	02/15/07 07:25 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:48 PM
Troll	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:15 PM
Re: Troll	kemahapalew	02/15/07 08:26 PM
Re: Troll	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:36 PM
Re: Troll	preemiemom	02/15/07 09:16 PM
Thanks...	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:40 PM
Re: Troll	kemahapalew	02/15/07 08:32 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	Karen1	02/15/07 08:12 PM
No way Jose...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:16 PM
"They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	almostheaven	02/15/07 07:26 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	Karen1	02/15/07 07:33 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	almostheaven	02/15/07 07:48 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	Karen1	02/15/07 08:20 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:52 PM
Re: "They might be suffering from cabin fever"...	zepdiva	02/16/07 04:07 PM
Hey troll...	almostheaven	02/16/07 04:28 PM
Re: Hey troll...	zepdiva	02/16/07 04:39 PM
Re: Hey troll...	almostheaven	02/16/07 05:07 PM
Re: Hey troll...	Karen1	02/16/07 05:39 PM
Re: Hey troll...	almostheaven	02/17/07 02:31 PM
Re: Hey troll...	Karen1	02/17/07 03:21 PM
Re: Hey troll...	almostheaven	02/17/07 05:54 PM
Re: Hey troll...	zepdiva	02/16/07 05:38 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:53 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:05 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 07:16 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 07:36 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:04 PM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 08:18 PM
Man!	almostheaven	02/16/07 02:25 PM
OK...	preemiemom	02/15/07 09:46 AM
Re: OK...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 10:23 AM
Re: OK...	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:46 PM
Hooray!...	almostheaven	02/15/07 10:18 AM
Re: Hooray!...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 10:28 AM
Wow!	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:49 PM
Re: Hooray!...	kemahapalew	02/15/07 10:26 AM
Re: Hooray!...	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:50 PM
Watch it Spring...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:41 AM
Re: Watch it Spring...	Spring	02/15/07 08:43 AM
Re: You shoulda seen it coming Miranda...	preemiemom	02/15/07 08:37 AM
Oh I dunno...	almostheaven	02/15/07 08:42 AM
I'm LMAO!	zepdiva	02/15/07 05:53 PM
Re: I'm LMAO!	almostheaven	02/15/07 07:02 PM
Re: I'm LMAO!	almostheaven	02/15/07 06:54 PM
Re: I'm LMAO!	kemahapalew	02/15/07 06:03 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	kemahapalew	02/13/07 10:02 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	almostheaven	02/14/07 08:41 AM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	Gecko	02/13/07 10:28 PM
Re: AlmostHeaven.. Clarification	kemahapalew	02/14/07 04:51 AM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 05:37 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 05:54 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 06:06 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 06:11 PM
Re: Whoa!	almostheaven	02/12/07 09:55 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 12:55 PM
Re: Whoa!	matart1	02/12/07 02:02 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 03:49 PM
Re: Whoa!	preemiemom	02/12/07 01:38 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 04:20 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 03:40 PM
Re: Whoa!	kemahapalew	02/12/07 09:29 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/04/07 05:29 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 09:11 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/05/07 07:38 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 08:32 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/05/07 07:32 AM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Gecko	02/04/07 01:59 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 02:41 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/04/07 03:48 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 03:58 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/04/07 04:01 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 04:12 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	kemahapalew	02/04/07 04:49 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	Maury	02/04/07 04:53 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	TGSM	02/04/07 08:43 PM
Re: Im in Indiana as well, completely overwhelmed!	almostheaven	02/03/07 08:11 PM

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