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Reged: 09/30/05
Posts: 4197
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Re: Update
02/26/07 09:26 PM
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Until you get the paternity test and court order, there is no reason to basically buy time with the baby. There is only so much "stuff" a baby needs and at this point it is overkill and the money is better spent on the attorney. WIC usually covers most of the formula cost, so there is no need to supplement it for most, not all kids. And, mom might be on food stamps and if she is she recieves them for the baby so she'd have no food costs as food stamps is over $100 per month per person depending on income.
I can understand some diapers/wipes, etc. but at some point it is also mom's responsibility to buy things for the baby too. If she's struggling on top of what you are providing give her a list of local pregnancy resource centers than can often provide diapers, wipes, clothing, etc.
Until there is a court order, you are not obligated and mom is commenting to meet her own selfish needs by putting you down by not doing enough. You should consult with your attorney on what and how much you should be doing. Pre-court order all of this can easily be considered a "gift" and you are still obligated for child support. If you choose to pay money, do it in a check that clearly states "child support for baby's name."
Next dumb email about how you can do more, tell her thank you for her comments, and you'd be happy to provide more, but would appreciate a weekly breakdown of the child's needs, how/what she is contributing and if the balance is reasonable, you provide and if it isn't this is what you will provide and/or what is her proposal to split up the balance of the child's needs to make sure the needs get met.
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