Its easy on paper isn't it, at least for her, the divorce meant exactly what you said, she does what she wants and you support her. You have to do a couple of things, one is realize that she is there, and that is not going to change, the other is what are you comfortable with? If you are comfortable with things, then let them be, if you don't want to give her money don't. The money is one issue. If you do not want to give her money, you have to just tell her no, you don't have to refer to the divorce decree, you don't have to give reasons, you don't have to do anything but say no and be prepared for the firestorm that will follow. Stop worrying about what she does or what she spends, never judge her behavior again. If sshe gambles, let her gamble, its her business. You can get off into the weeds about how it is destructive to the kids and it will eat you up. You wanted to reconcile and that fact plays alot into the watching what she does, it still hurts and you want her to see that you are a good man and you still do things for her. Really just saying no and only no will send the message. You never have to explain to her what your finances are, its none of her business. She may feel that since you want, or wanted to reconcile, she still has a dog in this fight. Just say no to what you want to say no to. The other is the move. You only have to interact with the ex as much as you want to. You live in your house and she is the same as any other guest, tell her to leave, and live yoru life, change your home phone or just turn it off. This is not just on her terms, it is on yours because it is your life. If you are moving to get away from her, then it is probably not the right answer, if you are moving to the dream home and starting over for you and the kids, then go for it. You really have to take her out of the equation when you make the decisions that affect your life. I know its easy on paper, but the execution is harder than people realize. If its right, you will fell it and do the right thing.
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Re: Have to agree with gr8dad
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