Rebecca5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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Re: Grandparents!!!!
04/22/07 12:17 AM
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Your situation is more complicated than some, since you were never married to your child's father. If the father wants the child to come to his home (regardless of the fact that he shares it with his mother, it's still his home for the sake of parenting time), and you disagree....he's at a disadvantage.
It sounds like, and please correct me if I'm wrong, that your ex's mother kind of....wants to observe what would be your ex's parenting time.
Without your ex's cooperation, she's SOL. Even though you and your ex agree that this child is the product of both of you....nothing has been acknowledged by a court. In essence, it would be like her demanding visitation with a neighbor's child or something.
WITH your ex's cooperation, she wouldn't *need* to file anything in court....because she'd have the child in her home anyway.
The real question is....is time in their home in the child's best interest? Does dad have ample time with the child in other settings? I mean....you're concerned that dad doesn't show any interest in the child....but it's rather difficult to be interested in someone you don't have any opportunity to really *know.* If you refuse to allow the child in his home, what's he supposed to do?
I understand your concerns about the dogs and the smoking, but a judge would likely award *dad* (not grandma) parenting time in his home, unless you have proof of your concerns and a physician's statement saying the child can absolutely not be in that environment or it will cause him great harm.
Is there any chance you could compromise with *dad*? (Again...NOT grandma) Say....dad would agree to no smoking in the house? Unless your child has life-threatening allergies, I don't see what the problem with the pets is. I grew-up in a house with a couple of cats, my parents raised dobermans (as many as 4 to 15 dogs, at any given time)....and I managed to survive it.
At the moment, your ex is rather disinterested...so grandma doesn't really have a leg to stand on. If dad does begin to show some interest, and pursues this in court, you're going to have to figure out some arrangement that works. Your child needs both parents. Your best bet is to work on some compromise outside of court. It'll be cheaper and, ultimately, easier.
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