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HO2
member

Reged: 08/14/06
Posts: 178

Re: why does my husband

04/30/07 10:56 AM

Why does he contact you?

Firstly, he is used to knowing what you are up to, and men tend to be territorial...that has absolutely nothing to do with love.
Secondly, it is a very efficient way to keep you hooked. No commitment, no honest effort to work on the relationship, but constant contact so that you cannot move on.

It is probably reassuring for him to know that he can walk back into your life any time he wants to. And maybe contacting you makes him even feel like the 'good guy'...like 'I do not love you anymore, but look, it is not like I am cold and indifferent!!! I am a good person.'

Whatever his reasons, as long as he is not willing to recommit and work on the relationship, I would just say:
'Please back off so that I can heal and start anew, hopefully with someone who is willing to fully commit to me.'

I know this is not what you want. I know you probably think that as long as you are in touch with him that will keep him from moving on and hooking up with someone else as well...but believe me a leaver can talk to you three times a day to ease his conscience and still hook up with someone else. You risk end up feeling truly shattered.

Don't get me wrong: It is okay to keep the door open, but you should be the one to say on what terms he is allowed to have that special place in your life. Right now you are just the helpless victim, analysing, hoping, guessing. Get out of that role. If he wants to have the right to bug you in the morning and the evening about what you are up to, he has to do more than just call.

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
why does my husband	verysad	04/30/07 09:44 AM
Re: why does my husband	matart1	04/30/07 04:14 PM
Re: why does my husband	verysad	04/30/07 08:40 PM
Re: why does my husband	matilda	04/30/07 11:20 PM
Re: why does my husband	aprlshwrs	05/01/07 03:00 AM
Re: why does my husband	verysad	05/01/07 07:50 AM
Re: why does my husband	Arden	05/03/07 07:58 AM
Re: why does my husband	Debbie_L	05/01/07 11:36 AM
Re: why does my husband	annoyedengland	05/02/07 10:55 AM
Re: why does my husband	HO2	04/30/07 10:56 AM
Re: why does my husband	Debbie_L	04/30/07 02:30 PM
Re: why does my husband	lsutton	04/30/07 10:52 AM

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